Copyright -John Nixon
Cal’s been through his repertoire twice, though the regulars don’t notice the repetition.
This time of night, when the floor’s awash with beer and the pavement outside has had its first bloody baptism, he turns to the old tunes, ones that make the most busted booze hound weep.
He plays one of his Gran’s favourites – fair maids, broken hearts – and a ragged choir joins in the chorus.
Another shot of whisky joins the line-up on the piano. After closing, he’ll pour them all into a pint glass and take it home.
The wages of sin.
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers. See the pic, write a story in 100 words or fewer.
The piano in the picture reminded me of an old Billy Joel song. Sing us a song, you’re the piano man …
Word Shamble 
I liked the detail of the character portrait
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Thank you, Neil. I enjoyed writing this one. Great fun 🙂
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The wages of sin… the way he helps pushing the booze… love the description and the song.
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Yes, I think he sees it that way. Helping to keep others (and himself!) coming back for more of the very substance that is harming them. And one of Billy Joel’s best, I think. Thanks Bjorn 🙂
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He sounds so sad and despodent
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I think he is. He knows his job is a dead end, doing him harm. But it’s so hard to break out of a rut, isn’t it? Thanks so much for reading 🙂
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Sounds like my local! Great character sketch 🙂
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Haha! Is that you I see at the piano? 🙂 Thanks and thanks for reading
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Fantastic character piece here! I do love a bit of Billy Joel myself, take me right back! Well done Lynn!
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Thanks petal. I like this song, but not many of his bigger hits. But this is so sad and soulful. 🙂
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If you want sad try Goodnight Siagon!
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feel sad for him, great description
http://obliqview.blogspot.in/2016/06/the-inventor-prompt-john-nixon-he-liked.html
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Thanks very much. I do like a character study 🙂
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You told us so much in so few words. Brilliantly descriptive.
My 100 words!
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Thank you, Keith. I did love writing this, imagining myself in that seedy bar. Thanks for reading 🙂
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Your inspired use of the alliterative ‘b’ in the second sentence makes this for me.
Wonderful piece, realistic and sad.
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Thanks so much! I was rather proud of that 🙂 Thank you for your kind comments.
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I was picturing Billy Joel and “Piano Man” before I even saw your link. If that was the image you were trying to portray, you did it perfectly. Nice job, Lynn.
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Thank you so much! Yes, weirdly I ignored the flailing legs and went straight for the piano. So glad it came across as I hoped. Thanks again 🙂
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So atmospheric – ‘it’s first bloody baptism’ – great writing.
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Thank you, Liz. I did rather like that line. Thanks for reading 🙂
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Great music and a well penned story, what more could one want. Mines a whisky.
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Thanks Michael. My round I think 🙂
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Soundly nailed, Lynne! I like the touch of the pint glass, too. Piano Man is a standard, as all piano players in night clubs will know. How Billy Joel sings this concert after concert is beyond me.
Five out of five bourbons and Cokes.
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Thank you! It is a good song – one of his best, I think. Feels very honest, doesn’t it? Thanks for reading 🙂
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Great character description, Lynn. I also loved all the b’s.
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Thank you. Alliteration can be rather useful at time 🙂
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Dear Lynn,
All of the above. Very well done. Love the song, too.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you, Rochelle. Was stuck on this prompt to begin with, but after a think, this turned out to be a story I was really pleased with. Even reworked it and submitted to a competition :). Thanks for another inspiring prompt. All the best, Lynn
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Hi Lynn–Great job creating a strong atmosphere, here! A melancholy feel.
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Thank you! I liked this one so much, I’ve reworked it and submitted it into a flash fiction competition. Funny where these things lead 🙂
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What a moving character-portrait! And these lines are to die for:
“This time of night, when the floor’s awash with beer and the pavement outside has had its first bloody baptism, he turns to the old tunes, ones that make the most busted booze hound weep.”
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Thank you so much for your lovely comments! This was one that felt ‘right’ when I wrote it. Have reworked it a little for a flash fiction comp, so here’s hoping. Funny the directions these prompts will take your mind. Thanks again 🙂
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