Copyright -John Nixon
Cal’s been through his repertoire twice, though the regulars don’t notice the repetition.
This time of night, when the floor’s awash with beer and the pavement outside has had its first bloody baptism, he turns to the old tunes, ones that make the most busted booze hound weep.
He plays one of his Gran’s favourites – fair maids, broken hearts – and a ragged choir joins in the chorus.
Another shot of whisky joins the line-up on the piano. After closing, he’ll pour them all into a pint glass and take it home.
The wages of sin.
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers. See the pic, write a story in 100 words or fewer.
The piano in the picture reminded me of an old Billy Joel song. Sing us a song, you’re the piano man …
I liked the detail of the character portrait
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Neil. I enjoyed writing this one. Great fun 🙂
LikeLike
The wages of sin… the way he helps pushing the booze… love the description and the song.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I think he sees it that way. Helping to keep others (and himself!) coming back for more of the very substance that is harming them. And one of Billy Joel’s best, I think. Thanks Bjorn 🙂
LikeLike
He sounds so sad and despodent
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think he is. He knows his job is a dead end, doing him harm. But it’s so hard to break out of a rut, isn’t it? Thanks so much for reading 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like my local! Great character sketch 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha! Is that you I see at the piano? 🙂 Thanks and thanks for reading
LikeLiked by 1 person
Fantastic character piece here! I do love a bit of Billy Joel myself, take me right back! Well done Lynn!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks petal. I like this song, but not many of his bigger hits. But this is so sad and soulful. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you want sad try Goodnight Siagon!
LikeLiked by 1 person
feel sad for him, great description
http://obliqview.blogspot.in/2016/06/the-inventor-prompt-john-nixon-he-liked.html
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much. I do like a character study 🙂
LikeLike
You told us so much in so few words. Brilliantly descriptive.
My 100 words!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Keith. I did love writing this, imagining myself in that seedy bar. Thanks for reading 🙂
LikeLike
Your inspired use of the alliterative ‘b’ in the second sentence makes this for me.
Wonderful piece, realistic and sad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much! I was rather proud of that 🙂 Thank you for your kind comments.
LikeLike
I was picturing Billy Joel and “Piano Man” before I even saw your link. If that was the image you were trying to portray, you did it perfectly. Nice job, Lynn.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much! Yes, weirdly I ignored the flailing legs and went straight for the piano. So glad it came across as I hoped. Thanks again 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
So atmospheric – ‘it’s first bloody baptism’ – great writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Liz. I did rather like that line. Thanks for reading 🙂
LikeLike
Great music and a well penned story, what more could one want. Mines a whisky.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Michael. My round I think 🙂
LikeLike
Soundly nailed, Lynne! I like the touch of the pint glass, too. Piano Man is a standard, as all piano players in night clubs will know. How Billy Joel sings this concert after concert is beyond me.
Five out of five bourbons and Cokes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! It is a good song – one of his best, I think. Feels very honest, doesn’t it? Thanks for reading 🙂
LikeLike
Great character description, Lynn. I also loved all the b’s.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Alliteration can be rather useful at time 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Lynn,
All of the above. Very well done. Love the song, too.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Rochelle. Was stuck on this prompt to begin with, but after a think, this turned out to be a story I was really pleased with. Even reworked it and submitted to a competition :). Thanks for another inspiring prompt. All the best, Lynn
LikeLike
Hi Lynn–Great job creating a strong atmosphere, here! A melancholy feel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! I liked this one so much, I’ve reworked it and submitted it into a flash fiction competition. Funny where these things lead 🙂
LikeLike
What a moving character-portrait! And these lines are to die for:
“This time of night, when the floor’s awash with beer and the pavement outside has had its first bloody baptism, he turns to the old tunes, ones that make the most busted booze hound weep.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your lovely comments! This was one that felt ‘right’ when I wrote it. Have reworked it a little for a flash fiction comp, so here’s hoping. Funny the directions these prompts will take your mind. Thanks again 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person