PHOTO PROMPT- Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields
The sun on the choppy waves is blinding. So different from the rain-lashed harbour we first saw together. We devoured every inch of the skyline with our eyes that day, oblivious to the pitch of the boat, the lightning shredded sky.
I feel the void, the narrowing of my flesh where a decade of wearing your ring cinched a waist in my finger. I imagine its gilt glint on the dressing table and wonder if you’ve found it yet, found the absence of me.
I turn my back on Liberty and face my New World.
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the lovely photo and write a story in 100 words or fewer.
I resisted the temptation to write an immigrant story, despite the idea appealing greatly to my sense of history and adventure. Instead of arriving, my character is leaving New York – and why not have a chunk of REM gratis.
“I turn my back on Liberty and face my New World” – what a killer last line! I don’t want to be picky, an it doesn’t in any diminish the succulence of that line, but if she’s leaving him, isn’t she facing both liberty and a new world?
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Yes, she absolutely is, though I wondered if she at one time believed him to be her liberty and he no longer is? Thank you very much for your lovely and insightful comment, Neil – great stuff 🙂
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Touching story, and great take on the prompt. I liked the killer last line too, although the imagery with the space where the ring had been hit me harder. Getting over wearing a ring should be listed as a special stage in the relationship-grief process.
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I’ve often noticed how wearing a ring for so long deforms your finger and wondered how long it takes for the finger to fill out once you’ve taken the ring off for good. Something symbolic in your finger ‘healing’ as your heart does. Thanks Joy
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For me it was the power of habit. I just felt *naked* without it on. Like, how can I leave the house like this?
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Must be tough, Joy. I hope it’s become easier for you now 🙂
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It’s been years, so yes. 🙂
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🙂
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When liberty becomes something to escape from … then.
Great story.
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Thank you! 🙂
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Oh I do like how you give that detail of the wedding band… Liberty indeed.
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Thanks Bjorn! Let’s hope she enjoys her new world with no regrets 🙂
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Yes, a good take on the prompt, Lynn. Always looking for the different side of things. Good theme.
Any idea where she’s going?
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Thanks WM. Hmm, not sure where she’s going to be honest. Perhaps back to somewhere familiar to lick her wounds before starting her new life for real. 🙂
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I love the line about the ring. It echoes the relationship of the previous ten years.
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Thanks Clare 🙂 I have such an indentation on my own finger – though the ring is still there! 🙂
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I loved the observation about the ‘waist’ on the finger. A different take from the usual ‘arrival’ scenario and well-crafted.
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Thank you Sandra – very kind of you. And thanks for reading 🙂
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“The ring leaving a waist on the finger is fantastic imagery, and REM, too! Great response to Rochelle’s prompt,” she said.
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Thank you! I quite liked writing that one – it came together quickly too which they don’t always. Good fun 🙂
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“It’s a neat feeling when the story seems to almost write itself,” she commented.
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It’s a rare but lovely feeling 🙂
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You are fast becoming one of my favourite writers here, Lynn.
Another sensitive and beautifully structured piece.
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Ah, what a lovely comment! You’ve made my day C 🙂 Love your writing too – very tempted to borrow someone’s Kindle so I can download your thriller 🙂
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Why not give in to temptation twice, and buy my book too?
It is chock full of great stories, 250 pages of them.
Signed copy, Lynn?
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Haha! You salesman! I was chatting about your books with a fellow Fictioneer, telling her about the Second Request – she was intrigued, so you might have another sale there. I was looking at Medville Matters the other day … 🙂
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Your imagery is always stellar, and this is no exception. The symbolism of the statue, the harbour, and even the weather is great. And broken bonds leave scars. Great story!
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Thank you so much Gabi! Such lovely comments. This one fell together nicely and pretty quickly too – not sure why some stories do that and others you really have to work at, but then if we could quantify this writing thing we’d all be earning James Patterson’s wages! Thanks so much for reading
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I like a writer who writes against the prevailing tide. Good work.
Tracey
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Ah, thank so much Tracey! That one fell into place very easily for some reason – an enjoyable feeling. Thanks so much for reading 🙂
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Dear Lynn,
Like some of the others I loved the image of the cinched waist on her finger. Rings do leave their imprints, don’t they? So very well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you so much, Rochelle. And thank you for another great prompt – very inspiring 🙂
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beautifully written
http://obliqview.blogspot.in/2016/07/set-off-prompt-jan-wayne-fields-old-man.html
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Thank you very much – great appreciated 🙂
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I loved the ring cinching a waist and the play on the word Liberty is excellent.
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Thanks so much, Mick. I really appreciate the feedback. Thanks for reading 🙂
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You’re welcome
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🙂
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Wow. Just wow.
(And I mean that in a good way 🙂 )
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Ah, thank you Dawn! What a lovely response. Glad you liked it. Thanks so much 🙂
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