Friday Fictioneers: They’re here

PHOTO PROMPT -© Vijayay Sundaram

PHOTO PROMPT -© Vijaya Sundaram

 

The door bursts open, shuddering dust and flakes of paint from the shack walls. It’s Pops, face grey as his grubby shirt, mouth open, hand trembling at his side.

‘They’re here,’ he says.

Momma pushes past him, me and Jimmy scrabbling in her wake. Outside, the other displaced families are all there, some gawping dumbly at the night sky, some already throwing what little stuff they had left in bags. An old lady sits in the dirt rocking, crying like a baby.

Above our heads, the night fizzes, glitters, alight – the most beautiful thing.

Momma grabs my hand.

‘Run.’

Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers. See the photo and write a story of 100 words to accompany it. See here to join in and to read the other, super stories.

66 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers: They’re here”

  1. Good one, Lynn. Funny that we both interpreted the picture in pretty much the same way. And many congratulations on your success with Night of the Crying Women. I enjoyed reading it. Well done.

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    1. Thank you, Sandra. Left a comment on your blog – I really think sci-fi should be your new genre 🙂 And thank you so much for the mention and for your kind words about the win. To say I was excited when I heard is an understatement – my proudest writing achievement thus far. Thank you again.

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      2. They definitely seem to have different criteria, don’t they? You can recognise a story that would fit WM, while Forum seem to be more eclectic. Never submitted to Forum, but have been thinking about it. Thank you so much again. Really, it means a lot 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much, Rochelle. Glad I managed to convey some tension. A great photo which could spin us off into all sorts of directions. BTW, I meant to say, well done for your hard work pver the summer and for getting your latest book finished. When will it be published?

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    1. Thanks Iain. Yes, aliens I suspect – having taken over at least part of the earth, shifting populations from country to country, they’ve finally caught up with our family. Let’s hope they can escape. Thanks for reading 🙂

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  8. The line about grandma rocking in her chair and crying breaks my heart. This is deep POV writing at its best. And I don’t know exactly what I’m congratulating for, but congrats! 🙂

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  10. Interesting, I sort of assumed these were cultists of some sort, in some isolated mid-western community, and that they’ve been told to expect signs and wonders at the End of Days.

    But then, a lot of cults mix up religion and aliens anyway, don’t they — it often all goes into the mix. And who knows, it could be both extraterrestrials (in cahoots with some secret government department, I’ll be bound) and The End of the World As We Know It. Yep, that’s it.

    …

    Love how you suggest so much in just a few words, Lynn. Mark my words, the sign of a true author!

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    1. Ooh, I rather like the idea of cultists – I absolutely see how you’ve come to that, after a reread. End of Days it could well be 🙂 Thanks so much for the lovely comment Chris – truly very kind and means a great deal coming from someone so knowledgeable and well read. Thank you 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much Emily. I was a bit proud of ‘the night fizzes’ :). Daft how pleased you can be over a simple turn of phrase. Thanks so much for reading 🙂

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    1. Thank you, Bjorn. It’s interesting to try to build those strong emotions in a short story. I’m very glad you think I was successful to some extent. Thanks for reading

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  18. Wow, Lynn! Very cool, action-packed, good emotions. I also could see by your banter with Sandra you had a good success story, Wonderful! Keep the lamps burning! When you get compliments from Sandra, they MEAN something …. BIG.

    Five out of five boxes of sparklers. 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much! Yes, it means a lot, receiving such lovely words from such a talented person. Thanks for the kind feedback – very honoured from this group of writers 🙂

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      2. Always nice to be encouraging – I never understand the (fortunately few) people I’ve met online who just want to be negative about people and their work. The planet is full enough of sadness and depressing stories. Your mum sounds like a nice lady 🙂

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  19. Loved the description in this and the contrast between the beauty and the fear that lurks beneath it. I take it you have won something with WM, I came second once and it was a very proud moment, so I know how you must feel. Congrats.

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    1. Thanks so much, Michael. Yes, I’ve found WM a tough nut to crack over the years, hence my delight with this win. Thanks for the gret feedback and for reading 🙂

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    1. Oh, I know a good apocalypse is hard to find – except here as I seem to write a few such scenarios! Thank so much for the congrats, C. I wouldn’t hold your breath on that last thought, but you never know – one day 🙂

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    1. Read your story – a great feling of resignation between the pair. Sad and tense at the same time. Great stuff. Thanks for reading mine 🙂

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  24. That line ‘shuddering dust’ set the tone of fear perfectly, though I did wonder if the people packing their bags hoped for a good outcome. Excellent story that left me pondering.

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    1. Thank you Liz. Yes, I think some are hoping to out run the horror, but who knows if they’ll succeed? We can but keep our fingers crossed someone does. Thanks for reading 🙂

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  26. So sorry for the late response, Lynn! (My computer is dead, and I’m using my husband’s computer to respond to everyone’s posts before the next Friday Fictioneers story gets posted tomorrow!)
    I loved your beginning! It’s the “aliens are here” story with some amazingly moving scenes. The “An old lady sits in the dirt rocking, crying like a baby” was very vivid, and made the helplessness of the human condition all the more immediate.
    That last line/word was perfect.

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    1. Thank you so much! Really no need to apologise at all. Anyone who takes the time to read my stories is always very much appreciated. We all have busy lives and with tech problems thrown in … Thank you so much again 🙂

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