Friday Fictioneers : Little girl lost




‘It’s a weird place,’ she said. A little girl lost voice.

She was attractive but shabby: smudged mascara gave her a bruised look; ripped, grubby tights; bitten nails, polish chipped. Another rich kid dropout.

‘This one’s yours,’ said the guard, pressing the door release.

‘The room’s empty.’ Fear for the first time.

‘We find it best,’ he said, shoving her forward.

‘What the hell’s going on? This is detox, not prison.’ The door rattles, the catch snaps shut.

The first night’s always the worst. He ticks his sheet, tucks the pen behind his ear.

If she survives that …


Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the intriguing photo and write a tale to go along with it in 100 words or fewer. See here to join in and to read the other smashing tales.

69 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers : Little girl lost

    1. Thanks Bill. 100 words is a bit tight for a rambler like me – I’d always like to add more ‘colour’, more flavour to it. But these tiny stories are a good discipline all the same. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Joy. Yes, if I’d more words, I would have gone on to give a hint of the awful, unique methods the institution uses on its clients. Maybe that’s a story for another time 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Wow, detox sounds awful. But I hope it’s for the best. I know coming off of medications you’ve taken for a few years is hard, so I can imagine detoxing from alcohol or recreational drugs, would be quite bad. Nice write!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t apologise – I was smiling as I wrote that, though I regretted it right after I clicked send, because I realised it wouldn’t have the same effect on you.
        Graveyard humour…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It makes all the difference. Some people will be defeated by their lives even if their worst problem is a broken heel and a washing machine that doesn’t drain. Looking for the sunshine – that’s the secret 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. When I see the wobbly ankle thing … Urgh! Having sprained both ankles in the past (running for a bus and climbing over a wall – not in heels!) it makes me feel a little sick seeing ankles go over. What madness high heels are.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I used to have a pair which I bought to add to my special “drunk outfit.” This was the silly clothing AND MAKEUP I’d put on after a couple of drinks, to be funny. Oh, yes, I’m a hilarious drunk, with my own special routine, perfected almost forty years ago…
        My family and friends were relieved when I got rid of that outfit 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Drunk AND wearing heels? Such courage. Those battling days are over, eh? When I had drinking days (very briefly and a long time ago) I always wore Dr Martens, so had no fear of falling. Didn’t stop me from being a prat of course 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I was torn between relief and horror because I feared for horrible stuff in that room only to learn that it is detox. But the empty room left me wondering–and you confirm it in the comments–she’s between a rock and a hard place. Great writing, Lynn. You make us see the characters.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Gabi – I have some vague ideas about the horribleness of what gets released int the room. I may write a longer story on it if I can think of the right way to handle it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Michael. Yes, fortunately it’s one of those things most of us only experience through film and TV. Awful, awful experience. Thanks so much for reading 🙂


    1. Thanks Indira. I suspect she will not be treated well, sadly. Though she’s been treating herself pretty badly recently too. Lets’s hope there’s a good outcome for her. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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