PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
‘I’ve told you before, only one lamp. We don’t have oil for two,’ says Mumma.
Her eyes are puffy from sewing, hands blotched purple and red because her blood doesn’t move right, so Nana Gert says.
I turn down the wick, blow out the flame, sniff the smoke until it’s gone. I want to ask when Dadda will be home with warm pelts, dried meat, fresh flour and a sugar cane with a red and white twist.
Instead I listen to the wind tugging the door, feel the warm air stolen from my face.
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the photo and write a story to to match see here to join in and to read the other tales.
That is a really fine piece of character writing. I was there
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, thank you Neil. I’m glad it worked for you and thanks so much for reading 🙂
LikeLike
A really evocative piece of writing. I love the contrast of bleakness and the vibrancy of a sugar cane.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Louise! I’m really glad it worked for you and thanks so much for the feedback 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful little study done there.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you sweet! You’re very kind 🙂 x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved this take on the prompt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aw, thank you so much! I’m really glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brr, “the warm air stolen from my face” — made me shiver to read that! Nice take on the prompt. I see the oil lamps made you go sad too, it’s not just me. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Joy. It must have been that gloomy light, the darkness casting a small circle where the action will take place. Makes us all feel like huddling up 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely last line. Very poignant.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much Graham. Glad the atmosphere came across clearly for you. Let’s hope Dad comes home soon … Thanks for reading 🙂
LikeLike
Beautifully sad!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much. Glad the atmosphere came across 🙂
LikeLike
I really like the use of colour in the descriptive writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! Yes, in a grey / brown world a stick of red and white sugar must look beautiful. Thanks for reading 🙂
LikeLike
You carried me back into the past. Nicely done
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much Michael 🙂
LikeLike
sniff the smoke until it’s gone Having used kerosene lamps in a cabin as a child, and now when the power goes out, this line made my nose hurt in a wonderful way. Beautiful piece.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much Alicia. I was trying to include something small, personal – something a child would do. Glad it worked for you. Thanks so much for reading 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent. I envy your talent for making words count, Lynn.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much Chris. I think writing a lot of flash has helped – you have to edit a lot and pick the exact words when you only have 100 in which to tell a tale. Good fun though. Thanks so much for reading 🙂
LikeLike
Dear Lynne,
You had me right there in the scene. Wonderful piece of writing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much Rochelle. I’m glad it worked for you. I’m just wondering if when (if?) Dadda is coming home … Best wishes 🙂
LikeLike
I feel cold now. What a great scene, you drew me right in.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Gabi. Glad I evoked a chill. I imagine a lonely, isolated, cold existence for them. I hope their stores hold out until Dadda gets back. Thanks for reading 🙂
LikeLike
Great piece, you make it easy to imagine the situation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks very much Kathrin. Glad it woked for you 🙂
LikeLike
You describe the despair of poverty and strife so well, reminds me a bit of Germinal…
LikeLiked by 1 person
So many people have (and still have) indescribably sad and hard lives. Glad a little of that came across in this. Thanks so much Bjorn.
LikeLike
I agree with all the comments. This is a strong and moving story with some exceptional lines. My favorite was ‘ feel the warm air stolen from my face’
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for the lovely comment. Yes, I rejigged that line a few times until it felt as right as I could get it. I wonder if Dad will make it back in time though. Thanks for reading 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a harsh story, or more that the characters have a harsh life at this point in history. The sound like settlers of some kind, surviving just barely and not able to help the Mom who has health issues. Great write!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Yes, some of our forebears experienced nothing but harshness all their lives – we have it so easy in comparison. Thanks very much for reading 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
A wonderfully descriptive tale of difficult times. I liked your take on the prompt.
Isadora 😎
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much. Yes, hard times for all. Thinking of that kind of life always makes me grateful for being given a different one. Thanks so much for reading
LikeLike
Great last line and a good reminder of far we have come.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Dawn. Yes, we’re very lucky aren’t we? I always try to remind myself of that and tales like this help me do so. Thanks so much for reading
LikeLiked by 1 person
Once again I read your work and have difficulty expressing how impressed I am.
This is wonderful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you! Love to throw in a bit of historical fiction and I’m always drawn to the ordinary people, rarely the rich and privileged. Thank you very much – you’re very kind 🙂
LikeLike
Terrific atmosphere and characters. Their struggle and the despair just under the surface contrast so well with the narrator’s childish optimism, and the image of warmth being stolen is a powerful conclusion.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much Margarte for your thoughtful comment. Sometimes it’s better to be a child through these times – my father in law grew up in Coventry during War II (a very heavily bombed city). He played on bombsites, collected shrapnel, had a fantastic time. I’m sure his parents found it much tougher.
LikeLiked by 1 person