Friday Fictioneers : The treasure of Tucumcari

PHOTO PROMPT © Jean L. Hays

PHOTO PROMPT © Jean L. Hays


 

The boy sat on a high stool, book laid out on the shop counter.

‘He’s not more than six years old.’ Ginny peered round a shelf of plastic wolves  with nodding heads.

‘He can talk, can’t he?’ Carl nudged her with a packet of half-eaten Oreos, crumbs skittering over the cracked linoleum.

Ginny tried to sound casual. ‘Err. I heard there’re some caves nearby – somewhere on the mesa?’

The boy smiled. Everyone local knew the caves were as empty as Oreo man’s head. Still …

‘I can sell you a map for fifty dollars,’ he said.

 

 


Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the pic and write a tale in no more than 100 words. See here to join in and to read the other tales.

After reading up on Tucumcari, I found a snippet of local history here that inspired this very tale …

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48 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers : The treasure of Tucumcari

    1. Thanks C. I felt this one was a bit cropped, could have benefitted from a few more lines of dialogue or description. Maybe the wrong tale for the FF word count? Thank you so much for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Your story worked for me, Lynn, but the beauty of FF is that we can always use more words.
        When I first saw FF I thought ‘I could never create a whole story in 100 words’.
        But we learn.
        And we learn to read these stories, too, filling in the gaps, joining the dots, using our imagination.

        PS How embarrassed should I be that I had to Google Oreo Man?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Only as embarrassed as I should be! I had no idea it had any other meaning than a man … eating Oreos!
        You’re right. 100 words feels a tall order when you start to write flash but it gets easier and fun to do do. Thanks for reading C 🙂

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  1. The first time I read this, I was picturing Carl and Ginny as children also, but then I read them as adults, and all was clear to me! From the way they talk, they probably deserve what they get at the boy’s hands. I like the wolf bobble-head detail.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Emily. To be honest, I think this was a bit of a missfire, the story the wrong choice for the FF 100 word limit. I think the tale needs to be longer to work and for the set up to be clearer. Never mind, I’ll try harder next time. Thanks for reading and the valuable feedback 🙂

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    1. Thanks for the feedback Tracey and I think you’re right – I liked aspects of this but it should have been a longer story. I think a bad fit for the FF 100 word limit. Never mind, perhaps I’ll redraft and improve. Thanks for taking the time to comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha! Now, there’s an idea – a circus ring shop. I wonder if it would improve sales? Thanks Rochelle and thanks as usual for such a great photo 🙂

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    1. Ah, thank you Gabi. I think it could do with being longer (the sense wasn’t clear to many readers) so perhaps a redraft and a hint at how the treasure hunt goes? Thanks for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Clever boy, playing on their biases! I totally missed the name Tumancari in the photo, so it took me a while to figure out what you were talking about. Even after reading the Wikipedia article I’m still confused; what treasure?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Joy. Sorry, I should have highlighted the reference better. It all comes down to a single line on the Wiki page under the ‘Notable people’ heading.
      ‘In 1896, Tom “Black Jack” Ketchum and his associates robbed a post office and store in Liberty, NM, a community that dissolved after the railroad bypassed it. Many of Liberty’s residents moved to the nearby railroad siding that eventually became Tucumcari. Some of the local residents believe that there is a cave in a mesa south of Tucumcari, which may hold some of the loot, from the robbery of Liberty, New Mexico.[31]’
      The story grew from that tiny legend! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Isadora. You’re right, a clever lad indeed. Oreo’s are available here in the UK, but I’ve never eaten one. I’m afraid I eat other sweet stuff, though! Thanks for reading 🙂

      Like

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