PHOTO PROMPT © Lucy Fridkin
When Fliss was small she didn’t think her father had an imagination.
They would lie together on the garden lawn staring up at the clouds, heads so close their hair mixed, her auburn with his ‘salt and pepper’.
As she saw ‘longtailed mouse with a twitchy nose’and ‘doggy asleep on a sofa’, he would call ‘rock’, ‘another rock’, ‘cloud’, making her giggle until her stomach hurt, till she pulled her knees to her chest to make the ache stop.
Only now does she realise, as she flicks through the pages of his account books, how very creative he is.
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the photo and let it inspire you. See here to join the fun and to read the other tales.
I guess there are many worlds in the universe of fiction
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There certainly are 🙂
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Haha, great last line. He was smart to use his creativity for a purpose. Well done 🙂
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Thanks Iain. Yes, there are different forms of creativity and Dad found his own way. Think he might have gone a step too far though … Thanks for reading 🙂
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I hope it was a good creativity and they didn’t end up broke. Great last line!
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I have a feeling he might be in trouble! Thanks very much for reading 🙂
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Dear Lynn,
I hope this isn’t a case of “reality sucks” for her. Lovely story in any case.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Sadly, I think it might be … Thanks Rochells, all the best
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Just an average businessman with average slight of hand or someone more sinister?
Tracey
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I think he’s just creative with his maths, squirreling away funds when he should declare them 🙂 Thanks so much for reading Tracey
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A funny bean-counter joke!
Terrific.
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Thank you C. 🙂
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This made me laugh out loud in that “Oh! you got me” kind of way.
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Thank Alicia. Not my usual dark tale, but it workd well enough for a short. Thanks for reading 🙂
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Ah, some types of creativity are not as appreciated as others — and for good reason! I like how you twisted that at the end. And the description of their hair mixing on the grass next to each other was just perfect.
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Thank you Joy. I liked describing them together the most I think, showing their relationship and that he might be a crook, but he was still a good Dad.
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Nicely complex character idea, and more realistic that way, I’d say.
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Thank you, Joy. Glad you think so.
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Oh dear…you are a master of the last line punch!
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Thanks Mary! Trouble ahead I think 🙂
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Yes – and that’s always a treat…for the reader. 😉
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We do like confrontation in a story 🙂
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Creative accounting — I suspect off shore stash of cash.
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He better keep it well hidden, because I think he’s been rumbled 🙂 Thanks for reading Lorraine
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Another great punch line, Lynn
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Thanks Chris. Funny how these shorts benefit from that, like a joke format. Thanks for reading 🙂
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I’m sure he saw other things in the clouds but playing dull made his daughter happy and laugh. I thought the hair mingling and the cloud shapes very evocative of a pastime a lot of us will have indulged in, you captured it just right
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I think you’re right, Michael. Just making her laugh. A mixed character, both a good dad and a con man. I remember staring at clouds with my son. Very sweet, simple and funny way ot pass the time. Thanks for reading 🙂
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I’m sure he could have passed on his “juggling” abilities to her, too. Of course, my favorite part is the second paragraph where the hair mixes in. Thats’ really cool! I could see them both and that a very nice memory it would make for both of them in future years.
Five out of five paper kites.
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Ah, thank you! That was my favourite bit too. And you’re right, perhaps she’s learned the same skills and built on them. Maybe she can help cover his tracks and save him from prison? Thanks for reading
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🙂
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I love this Lynn. I certainly didn’t see the end coming!
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Thanks so much Louise. Glad you liked it 🙂
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Wonderful. Very entertaining too.
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Thank you very much Graham. Thanks so much for reading 🙂
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Great twist, Lynn! I’m sure that wasn’t something she wanted to learn about her father.
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No, you’re right. But I think he’s been a good enough dad that she might forgive him. Thanks for reading Louise 🙂
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The simple pleasures of playing ‘Guess what you see in the cloud’. I always enjoyed doing it with my daughters. I see it the way Micheal Wynn did, Lynn. The dad may have been taking a back seat.
Hopefully, the ending is just fiction. It did have a power punch.
Isadora 😎
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Thanks Isadora. Sadly, I have a feeling Dad has laid up a ton of trouble for himself and his daughter … Thanks very much for reading 🙂
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Oh oh oh! The shock of discovery!
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Yes, and not a good discovery either! Thanks for reading
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👍
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ha ha. Creativity takes many forms. Good one.
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Thanks. Yes, his creativity has made him a lot of money, though I’m not sure for how much longer! Thanks for reading
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Love this. Ingenious.
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Thank you so much! And thanks for reading
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Nice twist in your story. Normally our childhood idols fall when we become adults, in your story the flawed father is redeemed, in creative points.
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I was enjoying the loveliness of their interaction when, wham, you surprised me with the last line and made me laugh out loud. What a creative family.
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Ha! Glad it made you laugh. Yes, a creative bunch in many ways. I wonder if she can save her dad fro his own clever mind? Thanks Gabi 🙂
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Really enjoyed the flow and storytelling; the twist caught me off guard. Nicely done!
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Thank you Dawn. Glad you liked it and thanks for commenting 🙂
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LOL
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🙂
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One’s creativity is another man’s captivity.
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the last lines left me confused
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Hi there. The idea is that she never saw her dad as having imagination (hence the incident with the clouds) however, as she looks at his account books she’s seen he’s used his ‘creativity’ to change his accounts, probably by hiding money where the tax man won’t find it. Ever heard of the phrase ‘creative accounting’? Used to suggest someone has been dishonest – ‘creative’ – with their accounts, when of course, the last thing you should be when recording these things is imaginative. Hope that clears things up for you. Thanks for reading 🙂
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I think creative accounting pays off better than creative writing.
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Haha! I think you may be right there 🙂
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Lovely characterisation. The dynamics between father and daughter are wonderful, and the final twist is perfect. I believe she’ll forgive his particular use of his imagination.
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I think you may be right, Margaret. Thank you for reading 🙂
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The last line is absolutely brilliant! Great story.
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Thank you so much! I will try to 🙂
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My pleasure!
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🙂
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