This week’s photo prompt is provided by Maria with Doodles and Scribbles. Thank you Maria!
Sami couldn’t sleep. Sweat stood like beads on her cheeks, amid the soft hairs on her arms. Eventually, she untangled her body from the damp sheets, padded across the linoleum to the door without bothering to dress.
Outside it was no cooler, but she felt better being up, not trying to fool herself that sleep would come.
Mig always told her not to walk at night, that the twisting lanes were too full of gang members looking to score. Maybe he was right, but she’d grown up there, went to the tiny school with the boys from the gangs. Theirs were the first male lips she’d tasted.
When they passed by in their flat bed trucks, machine guns slung over their scrawny, tattooed chests, they’d whistle, blow kisses to their talismanΒ – their Little Samira.
She thought of all the boys she’d kissed who were dead now. And wondered who would be next.
Written for Priceless Joy’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Authors. See the inspiring prompt pic and write your own tale. See here to join in and to read the other tales.
Great mood piece, Lynn — almost made me feel warm just reading it. And sad for those boys she once kissed.
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I think she’s saying goodbye to them one at a time – such is their environment. Thanks Joy
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Excellent story! I love the last line. It’s very haunting.
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Thank you so much. I thought I might finish on something more dramatic, some action – but in the end the looming sadness of their lives felt like enough. Thank you for reading π
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Such a sad future.
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Yes, you’re right. Nothing good in prospect either
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I agree with you Lynn. She has a very sad future where she is. Great story with a spin of sadness and unspoken defeat!
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Thank you Joy! Glad you liked it.
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The tone of this is very 1940s, except for the tattoos maybe. Made me think of some of the Italian literature of the 50s that came out of the Resistance.
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Ooh, that’s really interesting Jane – thanks for the feedback. Not sure where I imagined it precisely, though there are many societies (past and present) that are lawless enough to be candidates. Thanks again
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There’s a timelessness to the situation. I’m sure cavedwellers felt much the same emotions π
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Sadly, you’re right, Jane. Such is humanities twisted make up
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I love the way you change the whole context of the narrative with the final sentence, Lynn and envy your ability to consitently do this so well.
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Ah, thank you Chris for the lovely comment. A sad life to live and one I’m grateful to have avoided. Thank you for reading
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Great piece Lynn, could be set in so many places around the world today, and no sign of escape or a better future for her. Very powerful.
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Sadly, you’re quite right, Iain. I suppose I had a favela in Brazil or similar in mind (though as Samira is a Persian and Sanskrit name, it could be anywhere). Thank you very much π
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A powerful write I felt the end hovering just out of sight then it was there. Nicely placed.
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Thanks so much Ellen and many thanks for reading π
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Dangerous place for a girl to get involved. But then, maybe she’s the only small happiness some of those boys had. Sad situation but well written!
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Thank you Amanda. You could be right there – she might be the only chink of light in an otherwise dark, short life. Thanks for reading π
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Strangely this reminded me of For Whom the Bell Tolls.
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I confess to not having read it, to my shame. However I shall take that a gigantic compliment. Thank you Michael
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Oh man… okay. This story started off as one thing, and ended up being something completely different that left me filled with emotion. You nailed the setting and the feelings. Every line drew me in, and the last one was haunting and powerful, making the whole setting you built up mean something a lot more…
Anyway, I can’t praise this one enough. Definitely the best FFfAW for the week in my opinion. Fantastic job.
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Thanks so much for such an outstanding comment. I’m glad you felt the last line worked after the sort of unrelated build up. Thanks again – made my day π
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You got it, totally meant wvery word.
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Thank you π
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Touching and evocative. Very nice penned π
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Thanks Dahlia. So glad it worked for you π
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