Friday Fictioneers : A platinum lining

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields


 

‘Look.’ Davey pointed to the sky, to the sun shining through dove grey clouds. ‘A silver lining.’

Fizz shivered, fidgeted with her blanket, tucking it tight round her legs. She felt the cold so easily now. ‘Silver tarnishes,’ she said, with a soft smile. ‘I’ll take platinum.’

Her shrunken frame – swamped by the rugged mass of the wheelchair – made his chest ache.

Producing a small velvet box, he lowered himself onto one knee. ‘Funny you should say that …’

In the churchyard three months later, that faultless ring returned to the earth with her.

‘No tarnish for my girl,’ he whispered.

 


Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the photo and write a tale. See here to join in with the other talented scribblers.

 

 

96 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers : A platinum lining

    1. Thanks so much, Iain. I’m glad you thought the structure worked – I wondered if I’d abridged it too much to make sense. Glad the sense of it came across. And thank you so much for reading

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    1. Thank you so much. Tricky sometimes to get the tine right, make something touching without being sickly, put in enough detail so it’s clear what’s happening without overloading the story. This came close to being okay I think. Thanks for reading. 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much Rommy. I’m glad it worked for you. It’s a great exercise, getting these stories down in 100 words. Sometimes it works and sometimes not – this was a fair stab I think. Thanks for reading

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    1. Ah, thank you. You’re the only one to pick up on the churchyard reference, a little misdirection of mine – spot on. Thank you for your thoughtful comment 🙂

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    1. Thanks Kent! I was thinking of a silver spoon I inherited from my grandmother and how it always tarnishes and how platinum doesn’t – a metaphor for the characters’ love too. Altogether pretty soppy for me 🙂

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  1. Oh my God! They were such a loving couple weren’t they? So lucky and wonderful… Such a sad but beautifully written piece! Feedback from writers like you would certainly help me improve my writing. I’m fairly new to the FF group. Could you please give me your feedback on my take on the prompt? You can find it here:

    The Shape shifters


    Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

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