PHOTO PROMPT © Jennifer Pendergast
Moonlight broke into a thousand bright strips on the rolling ocean. The lamps had been lit, the smell of burning whale oil mixing with pipe tobacco and brine. From somewhere came the rasp of a squeeze box, a mournful song of home.
‘Do we have a heading, Mr Harrison?’ Captain Nash looked flushed even in the dim light, the smell of brandy seeping from him. A good man, if not a sober one.
Harrison stared down at the compass, broken in the storm. He shook his head.
Nash nodded and lumbered away. ‘Mr Guinea! Extra grog ration for every man.’
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the pic and write a story. See here to join in and to read the other tales.
I miss the connection to the picture but that’s perhaps just me and I don’t get it -as so often.
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No worries, the connection is a slight one. The sculpture looked like a compass to me, the instrument Harrison is trying to plt their course by. Thanks for reading 🙂
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I saw the connection to the picture in the wheel. I loved the sensuous detail of sight and smell, I especially loved the idea of strips of moonlight. I wonder if you could make that stronger by a metaphor like quilting or tapestry. You know “the moon wove a quilt of silver strips on the rolling sea”.
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Perhaps your right, Neil, but I was struggling with the 100 word limit as it was! Nice metaphor for another tale though. Thanks so much for reading 🙂
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Reminds me of the line of dialogue delivered in the 2003 film “Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Peril by Mr. Gibbs (played by Keven McNally):
“Aye, the compass doesn’t point North. But we’re not trying to find North, are we?”
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Ha! Yes, true. I’m sure it’s sadly true that most of what I know of seafaring life is from pirate films and Mutiny on the Bounty! Thanks for reading James
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Nice. A shade of Conrad in this one. I especially like that first sentence.
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Wow, thank you so much! I would have lingered longer on the sense of being there, but 100 words is a tight space to be in! Thanks very much J
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Fabulous writing Lynn. Really engaged my senses. I was right there with them.
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Thanks so much Louise. Yes, it was much longer to begin with – got quite carried away with the sea and the smells and sounds … Maybe for another prompt 🙂 Thanks for reading
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Ah yes. Or a mini series.
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A mini series would be good, like the Night Manager or similar. Do you have a potential role for Tom Hiddleston, because you would get a lot of extra viewers that way? 🙂
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Haha he’s very welcome!
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Love the imagery of the first sentence. Your use of scents and colors adds wonderful layers to the story.
I hope they have enough grog…
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Never enough grog … 🙂 Thanks Magaly. I think they’re in serious trouble, so lets hope all is not lost. I’m so glad you felt the imagery was storng. Thanks so much
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Great story! Very atmospheric.
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Thank you J.A 🙂
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I took it to be the compass was the connection. Could smell the sea air and the sense of despair.
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Yes indeed – a slight connection, but one nontheless 🙂 Thank you Iain.
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That was great indeed! Methinks they are going on a (mis)adventure now!
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Oh, yes indeed! The times will not be easy. Thanks so much Dale 🙂
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Dear Lynn,
I love the way you set the stage. I felt like I was watching the captain steer the ship. The sea spray misted my face and I could smell the liquor. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so mucj Rochelle. Such a generous comment. I’m glad it worked on that level for you and thank you for reading 🙂
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Another vote for loving that first line. And the others too. I’m still not sure what the statue in the photo is supposed to be of, but compass works for me. Now the sailors will have to do it the old fashioned way: by the stars. Hope at least one of them knows how! At the very least, any sailor should be able to steer by the sun. 😉
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Very true, Joy. I tried to include a reference to ‘dead reckoning’ or some other frame of navigational reference, but quite honestly I’m not entirely sure how sailors did that and knew it would ring false if I tried to write it! Too much maths involved for me 🙂 Thank you so much for the kind comment my dear
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I would just say “by the stars” and wave my hands vaguely. 🙂
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Ha! Good thinking 🙂
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You could make this into something longer, which is what I love about flash fiction as it can inspire so much more…
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You’re right there. So many of my flash fiction I feel are scenes from longer pieces I haven’t and may never write. Thanks for reading 🙂
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‘Squeeze box’ is another English term I wouldn’t know without song lyrics…The Who…you and those pipes, this week. It’s good.
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Ha! Yes, squeeze box is a good one, so much more working man and British than an accordian, a much more complicated instrument I believe. Those sailors and their shanties … Cheers Bill
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Oh dear. At least they’ll die happy.
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Very true. Better to face certain death with the edge taken off I’d say 🙂
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I’ve been watching Mutiny on TV, a recreation of the arduous voyage made across the South Pacific by Captain and men loyal to him after they were cast adrift by the mutineers.
This little piece reminded me of the series, and of how in extremis just little treats can raise the morale of the rest of the crew.
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Bligh, dammit, the captain was Bligh!
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🙂
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I saw that was on TV and was thinking that Bligh couldn’t have been that bad a captain to get all of those men across the ocean and not lose a soul. Mind, I had heard he wasn’t as bad as he was made out by the standards of the day. You’re right, treats are all the more important when everything else is going wrong. Thanks so much Chris
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Very atmospheric. I think it was an imaginative take on the prompt.
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Thanks so much, that’s really good of you 🙂
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I saw the connection right away, but then I love historic tales of the sea. I really liked this tale. Reminded me of Julian Stockwin’s novels.
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Thank you Michael. I’ll take that as very high praise if you’re used to reading such tales. Thanks so much
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Delightful. Especially the smells 🙂
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Oh, I do love engaging the noses of my readers! Thanks so much 🙂
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That was a magical opening line and a great story.
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Thanks so much:)
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You always pack so much for the senses to enjoy into your 100 word pieces, Lynn. Well done.
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Thank you Sandra. I do like putting the reader in the place – some might say too much ‘showing’ and not enough ‘telling’ for a short piece. But engaging the senses is what it’s a ll about for me – making people feel things. Thanks so much 🙂
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Very well described.
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Thanks so much Neel 🙂
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Love the lilting tone of your descriptions, rolling like the sea.
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Thanks so much for the lovely comment and thanks for reading 🙂
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I loved this, put me in mind of Moby Dick, Treasure Island and that ilk. Great descriptions and atmosphere.
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Thank you so much Michael. It was interesting to write, quite a different atmosphere to some other pieces I’ve written, that intriguing feeling of isolation. Thanks for reading
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Moonlight broke into a thousand bright strips…love that…I read it twice for the sheer pleasure of it.
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Ah, thank you so much Dawn. Really glad you liked it 🙂
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The imagery left me imagining that I was in the England in the 18th century.
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Aw, thank you so much! That’s terrifically kind of you 🙂
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You drew me in so much that I’m feeling slightly sea-sick. Great writing, Lynn.
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Ha! Thank you so much Gabi. I did enjoy this – might just write a bit more maritime fiction in the future 🙂 Thanks for reading
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