PHOTO PROMPT © Sarah Potter
The shed door opens under a well-placed kick, the padlock holding solid as the rusted hinges give out.
Inside spades, forks, a wheel barrow with a flat tyre, liquid in a lemonade bottle that smells like turpentine.
In a web strung corner I find a pair of shoes – they’re muddy, worn low at the heel, but once I send the current residents skittering, they fit well enough.
I look up at the house as I leave – sooty, broken glass in the window frames, paint peeling. The mouldering remnants of a house, forgotten and unloved.
I know how it feels.
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the pic and write a tale, see here to join in and to read the other stories.
Sounds like my garden shed – great descriptions as always Lynn.
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Thanks Iain. Mine too – I think there’s a universal template for sheds 🙂
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Great summoning of atmosphere, Lynn
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Thanks so much Neil 🙂
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Beautifully written.
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Thanks so much JA
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Great story.
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Thanks Josh 🙂
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Dear Lynn,
As always you did a brilliant job of setting the scene and the tone. You didn’t tell us much about the narrator but you didn’t have to. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks so much, Rochelle 🙂
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The padlock holding while the hinges broke is wonderful. Great descriptions throughout. Kudos – as always.
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Thank you very much Alicia! 🙂
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I love the scene and the mode you set, it makes me curious of the narrator, and I can feel many alternatives of him and the relationship to the house…
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Thanks so much Bjorn. Yes, not sure about his history, other than he’s a homeless guy, seeing what he can grab from an empty house. Thanks for reading 🙂
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Four beautifully descriptive sentences, each one telling us not only about the physical setting but also about the protagonist, and each one evoking an emotion. And a killer five word conclusion that comes right out of the blue, knocks you down and when you pick yourself up you realise that the conclusion, this particular conclusion, was inevitable from the first word.
You’re such a good writer, Lynn.
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Oh, Penny, thank you so much for such a lovely comment. There are some days I wonder why I spend so much time tapping away at my laptop – and then I receive a lovely comment like that and I remember! Thanks so much 🙂
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I can smell her mouldering forgotten existence.
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Thank you Tracey. Yes, there are so many forgotten, overlooked people and this character is just one. Thanks so much for reading 🙂
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I felt for your narrator, and wondered about his life.
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Thank you Michael. I’m glad it made you wonder – I wonder too, though the backstory wouldn’t be a happy one, would it? Thanks for reading 🙂
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I want to know the story behind these boots! Or is this the real story of how the photo of the boots came to be?
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SAdly, not my photo Mara, but who knows -maybe it is. Rather intrigued about the real owner myself. Thanks for reading 🙂
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You do write so beautifully, Lynn. I could picture everything.
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Ah, thank you so much Dale. That’s really lovely of you. Thank you for reading 🙂
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I tell it like it is. I am amazed at your imagination!
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You made me feel all warm there, Dale. Thank you x
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Wonderful sensory writing here — as always, Lynn! My first feeling was that this was post-apocalyptic, that everything has been deserted and he’s raiding some stranger’s abandoned house needed supplies. But then, it could also be interpreted so many other ways — maybe he used to live here, knew the shoes would be there… Either way, his desperation and loneliness shines through.
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I thought that in the beginning, that it could be post apocalyptical. But you’re right, it could just be a rundown part of town, a man who’s hit hard times. You see so many, can only guess at the stories behind their current lives. Thanks so much for reading Joy 🙂
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So beautiful. My heart goes out to your protagonist . May she find something to help her hold on.
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Ah, thanks Moon. Glad you liked it 🙂
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I always do… loooove them.
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Ah, thank you so much Moon. Your continued support is cherished 🙂
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A brooding, moody piece that showcases your talent for descriptive phrases. Loved it.
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Thank you so much Sandra – you’re very kind 🙂
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Really atmospheric Lynn. This pulled at my heartstrings I hope they’re on their way to a better place where they will feel the love.
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You see so many homeless people in a city like Bristol, and you can’t help but wonder what their story is. Thank you so much Louise 🙂
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Paints the picture perfectly, Lynn
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Thank you so much, Chris 🙂
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The fading emotion in this is so palpable. Love it. Well done, Lynn.
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Thanks so much 🙂
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Really well written. I’d forgotten about those lemonade bottles you would always find in sheds.
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Thanks. Yeah, I know – never drink the ‘lemonade’ from a shed lemonade bottle!
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Wow, that was a powerful read! Great story this week.
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Ah, thanks so much 🙂
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Great word picture.
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Thanks so much 🙂
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Very descriptive story that took me right into the story. That last line was a gut punch that says so much.
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Ah, thank you so much. Glad you liked it 🙂
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Beautifully sad!
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Thank you Dawn 🙂
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The imagery is beautiful though the story itself is sad. A great piece of writing. :o)
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Thank you so much 🙂
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Great piece. I feel for the narrator as he trudges through life, taking what he can when he needs it in order to keep going.
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Life must be like that for many people. I can’t imagine what happens in your head if you spend years like that. Thanks for reading
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Refreshing read. I feel the guy’s emptiness. Good job
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Thanks so much Vivian. Yes, there are a lot of lonely people in the world.
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As others have said, you set the scene well. I can just picture the homeless man rumaging through the shed for anything of use. The last line was perfect.
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Thanks so much Russell. Yes, sadly, I see plenty of people who could be the character in this story. Saw one today, asleep at a bus stop. It’s not hard to write about something you observe so often. Thanks so much for the kind comment
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beautifully written. The last line made me gulp.
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Ah, how very sad. A lonely man.
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Beautifully done – The story starts with one we placed kick, and ends with another. Your timing is out of this world.
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