Friday Fictioneers : The Invisible Girl

PHOTO PROMPT © Sarah Ann Hall


 

Frances nestled into her favourite spot behind the jardiniere, in the shade of the dining room curtains.

She liked it there. When she stood up, the fern fronds spilling from the pot tickled her cheeks, smelling of woodland. When she sat, legs tucked, she pulled the heavy velvet curtain to her, becoming invisible. Then she could listen to the parlour maids talk of Mother in sharp, hushed tones, watch Polly wipe her grubby hands on the table cloth.

Today, scuffing feet told her someone was coming. High and low whispers, a man and a woman.

Her mother.

Not her father.

 


Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers, the best writing prompt around. See here to join in and to read the other tales.

 

 

 

 

 

 

38 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers : The Invisible Girl

  1. Every child’s (and many an adult’s?) dream, to have that hidey-hole away from the world. Both a bolthole and a spy-hole. Where they might learn things to their advantage — or their cost.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Lynn
    You’ve written a model of how to write 100 word flash fiction.
    You set up the situation with what seems like a leisurely pace; lots of delicious description (I agree – ferns do smell of woodland; and Polly wiping grubby hands on the cloth – very believable!)
    And then you tell the story in six words.
    Brilliant.
    Or as Neil says:
    Delicious!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ah, thank you so much Penny! Really lovely of you and I’m so glad you thought it worked. I wonder sometimes if my set-ups take too many words, leaving little for the twist, but they’re satisfying to write that :)way. Thanks for the kind comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great job capturing that delicious excitement of being a child and hiding where you can listen to the adults and nobody knows. And then, what a twist ending — sometimes you overhear things you wish you didn’t!

    I’m feeling a bit of flash fiction withdrawal, even though it’s only day 4 of NaNo, because between prepping to write the new novel and having a great time at Halloween, I was already on flash fiction withdrawal earlier in the week. But I couldn’t resist seeing what you did with this prompt. I still am having a hard time viewing the photo as vases. Seen in smaller form on my email, it looked like giant boardgame pieces, like a colorful version of chess, and I still prefer to see it that way . 🙂 Okay, back to NaNo!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! Yes, on a bigger pic you can see they’re a collection of jardiniere, some rather lovely examples too. Hope the first almost-week of NaNo is proving productive – getting stuck in to the novel?

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Rochelle. Yes, eavesdropping is a dangerous game. I think there might be some nasty consequences from this one. Thank you for the kind comment

      Like

  4. This is perfect — so many different stories into one, yet mostly about a child who is left alone… you might be born with a silver spoon in your mouth, but without food to fill the spoon it’s quite useless. The end made me think about the beginning of “the secret garden”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Bjorn. You’re right, of course, neglect a child and who knows what they might do to entertain themselves … Thanks so much for the kind comment

      Like

  5. Yet another brilliant 100-word story, Lynn. I was there. So wrapped up in Frances’ little world, I didn’t see it coming. She will be getting quite the education indeed. Wonder if she will let Mama know what she now knows….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, thank you so much! Yes, Frances is going to learn a thing or two about adult relationships and her Mama. I wondered if she would tell too – I think she’d have to tell someone, or there’ll be no more story! Thank you for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this little piece a small but very complete portrait of thisvhikd hiding away and listening to the grownups and their talk. I agree with some of the above comments about every child loving their secret hiding place. We used to build forts in the winter on the backyard with great heaps of snow, those were a kind of hiding place along with the hallway right outside the living room in just the right spot where our parents couldn’t see us watching Simpsons when we should have been in bed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, absolutely. It was always such fun to make a den and hide away, wasn’t it? A little secret place where you could have some time away from the adults, and just be in your private world. Thank you so much for reading Mandi. Lovely to talk to you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Feel sorry for Frances. She deserved to be a child while the childhood lasted. I feel sad that there’s so much happening around her, yet she is stuck in one spot.
    So beautifully written and so much story packed in 200 words. Cheers to your writing !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Moon. I think she was happy enough in some ways, hiding, listening, knowing the secret life of the house. Until this day. Thanks so much for reading

      Like

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