PHOTO PROMPT © JS Brand
‘You sure this is the place?’ asked Valdez.
The hotel’s corrugated iron roof was rusted and dripping dingy rainwater into the river. A sign above the door was feathery with curling paint.
The boatman nodded, palm open.
At the reception desk stood an elderly lady, her grey hair whipped into a bun, head tilted towards a radio. A waltz crackled from the speaker.
‘Senora Martin? I’m a police officer. I need to speak to you about your son.’
She looked up, revealing one pearly cataract. ‘He’s dead?’ She smiled, a single tear falling from her blind eye.
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the pic and write a tale and don’t forget to read and comment here.
What do we think Senora Martin’s son did to make her smile at his passing? Answers on a postcard please. Alternatively, you could just comment in the box below, which is a much better idea.
Very atmospheric. I loved the description of the hotel
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Thank you Neil. A nicely clapped out old place to write about, isn’t it?
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In fact I struggled to come up with anything
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And still you did! And a great tale too
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Wow, that was so richly described, Lynn – fabulous story and left me wondering why she smiled.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank so much Susan. I’m wondering too – I guess I had in mind a murderous son that the world is better off without, but maybe she’s just an awful Mum! Thanks for reading
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As usual, your descriptions are wonderful…. I can’t help but wonder what could possibly make a mother smile at the passing of her son… unless she is in that place because of him…
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Yes, could be, Dale. I suspect there are a handful of parents in the world that will feel relief when their child passes – relief for the world or themselves. A tear may still be shed though. Thank you for reading
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Really different to approach a child’s death this way. Really well written Lynn.
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Thank you Louise
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Yes. I believe you are right.
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Dear Lynn,
Could it be that her son has been, shall we say, a handful? Wonderful descriptions. Love ‘feathery with curling paint.’ Brava!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Yes, I suspect he has, though what nightmares he’s unleashed on the world, who knows. A bad man I think. Thank you so much Rochelle
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Son must of done her wrong and this was his comeuppance.
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Indeed 🙂
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He’s caused her grief, but he was her son after all, hence the smile overlain by the track of a tear. Maybe he was involved with drug cartels, or a militia, or was a callous murderer on the run. But I’d like to imagine she might have put out a contract on his life …
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Ha! Hadn’t thought of that! What a great idea. Maybe that’s the real reason the policeman’s there. Thank you for reading Chris
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An educated guess or a mother with special foresight? One tear is all he was worth. Expertly told.
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I think you’re right – one tear and she’ll move on. Thanks Iain
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The big question—what had he done? My first thought was he had been abducted and she was pleased to find out at last that he was dead. Then the fact that it was the blind eye that cried made me think that it was the opposite, that he had gone to the bad and only blindness to his character made her weep. Either way, good story.
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I like that metaphorical interpretation of her blindness.
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I always assume that every detail is mentioned for a reason.
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Thanks Jane. Yes, the blind eye could well be the one she turned as he was committing his crimes – perhaps she’s crying as much for her own guilt as for him. Thank you for reading and for the suggestions! 🙂
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I enjoy stories that beg questions 🙂
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Nice to make you think a bit 🙂
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That is – again – so well written. A lovely easy, laconic style even as you hint at horrors. Perhaps her son killed his father…
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Ooh, yes could be. I can only think that horror has trailed him – true horror. I can’t imagine why else she’d be glad. Thank you for the kind comment Penny
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Lovely measured prose, and a great sense of mystery
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Thank you so much! And thank you for popping along here 🙂
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I can only imagine that he has been the bain of her existence for a VERY long time, Nicely told.
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Thanks Lish – I think you’re right. A bad, bad man.
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I guess she is tired of waiting for her son and has probably spent many a night wondering if he is alive or dead. That a policeman has come asking for her probably after a long time or for the first time might have made her feel that she could finally go to sleep in peace, knowing he was somewhere, if not there.
Wonderfully written, Lynn. I wish I could learn from you.🙂💕
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I suspect you’re righ, Moon. It’s almost a relief to know she doesn’t have to wonder hwere he is or what he’s doing. Thank you for the very kind comment, though there are much better, more successful people you could learn from. Thank you for your kindness though x
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Success means a lot, but it ain’t everything, Lynn. I really look forward to your writing each week. You have a talent we can all learn from. Lish
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Ah, thank you Lish, that means such a lot. I love your writing too – always look forward to reading it. 🙂
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A tale of mixed emotions – relief that he’s gone mixed with a tinge of sadness at having lost a son, Beautifully written as ever Lynn.
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Thank you Keith. Yes, you’re right – mixed emotions. I can’t imagine what that’s like as a parent – heartbreaking doesn’t do it justice. Thank you for reading
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News she has been expecting for a while, I think. Very atmospheric!
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Thanks very much. I think you’re right – she’s been waiting for this for years
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I love stories with great and rich descriptions like yours. Well done, thank you!
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Thank you so much Cecilia. That’s really lovely of you to say so and thank you for reading
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Maybe it was a smile of resignation. After all, there was a tear, too. I imagine he’d been giving her grief for a very long time.
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I imagine you’re right. Thank you so much for reading
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You always make your settings come alive. I love the paradox of the tear and the smile. So well done.
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Thank you so much Sascha for the lovely comment. And thank you so much for reading too
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🙂
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A mother always know. Loved your take on this.
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Thank you Yarnspinner 🙂
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sad that she would smile- but as I read your comment to Dale I got it a bit more – some kids are bad….
and victor hugo once wrote something about how the one thing worse for a parent than the death of a child is to have that do extreme evil in the world.
so sad.
oh and chilling description: one pearly cataract
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Beautiful descriptions of the hotel. Perhaps he was terminally ill and suffering, she couldnt afford to be with him…
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I have a feeling that this has been coming for a long time… a confirmation always comes in uniform…
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I was thinking she smiled at the irony. Perhaps he was a hit man. 😉
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