When Donny said to meet by the juniper tree, I knew which one. There were dozens of gnarly old trees out there whittled and twisted by the wind, but only one we’d carved our initials on. Only one we’d swore oaths under.
My heart sank when I saw Carl was with him.
‘You need protection now, Donny?’ I called, trying to laugh, the sound drying in my throat.
Donny shrugged. ‘Carl was just passing by.’
I guess he was just passing by when that kid at the drugstore lost an eye. I knew the kid’s Mom. Nice lady.
‘You broke your promise,’ he said quietly.
‘You broke yours first.’ I stepped back, rocks rolling under my feet, tumbling down the ravine.
Carl reached into his pocket.
A deafening blast, the stink of cordite … For the drugstore kid’s Mom.
‘Let’s talk, Donny,’ I said.
Written for What Pegman Saw, the photo writing prompt using Google Streetview as its source. See the pic, create, share, read and comment. See here to join in.
Altogether too true to life I fear. Gritty, powerful writing, Lynn, that puts us right there with three young men – children, really – for whom violence is routine, and revenge praiseworthy. I hope I never meet them.
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Me too, Penny. Yes, violence is run of the mill for many. What ragically hard and short lives they must be. Thank you for reading and commenting
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The range of your narrative invention never fails to impress, Lynn.
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Thank you for your kind words Tish – very lovely of you. And thank you for reading
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My pleasure!
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I have to agree with what Tish Farrell says. This piece is very different than anything I’ve seen from you. Great dialogue, great voice, great story-telling! You’re full of all sorts of wonderful tricks.
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Thank you Karen! I’m more confident in other waters but dipping a toe in more shady, urban writing is enjoyable at times too. Thank you for reading 🙂
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Donny shrugged. ‘Carl was just passing by.’ Who just passes by a juniper bush? (well done.)
I’ve gotta’ say I’m a bit confused about who shot who. Sorry. This is such lovely writing. Maybe I’m just a bit “dull” this morning.
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I wondered if it might be confusing (word limits and all!) but hoped the fact that the narrator mentions revenge for the drugstore kid might give it away. It’s Carl that’s been shot. Thank you so much for your feedback and for reading
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I always enjoy your work. I had an idea it was Carl but the tumbling down the ravine thing made me wonder, that’s all.
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Thank you Lish
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Sounds as if Carl perhaps was due for a bit of Old West justice.
Although I have a fascination with the Old West, I really would not have wanted to live in those times.
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Very true, me neither. I hadn’t intentionally set it then, but it could quite easily be set in any time where the gun had been invented. Thanks for reading and for the feedback Cara
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