What Pegman Saw : Four brothers

‘What’s happening?’ Sweat stands in pimples on Dan’s top lip, darkens the collar of his shirt. No one answers.

Stevie stares out over the turgid brown river, over stained concrete and steel. He reminds me more of Dad every day  – the silences, the sudden rage. Carl asked me to watch him ‘in case’, but I don’t know what I’m meant to do. No one could control Dad either.

Carl keeps trying the phone number, but no answer. He’s biting his lip and that’s more unsettling than losing the car, almost more than losing the bag.

‘We’re fucked. We’re just fucked.’

‘Shut up, Dan,’ Stevie grunts, a bear in chinos.

I know there’s going to be a row, but all I can do is watch Carl.

Finally, he smiles. They picked up. There’s a short conversation, then it’s over. His eyes are empty and I know.

For once, Dan’s right.

 


Written for What Pegman Saw, a writing prompt using Google Streetview. This week Pegman visited Karlovy Vary in the Czech Republic. To join in and share, see here.

 

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16 thoughts on “What Pegman Saw : Four brothers

  1. Terrific crime story, Lynn. The four brothers sound like novices about to learn a hard lesson. You imply so much with so few words! The family dynamic is delineated very economically. Super writing!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Penny. Yes, I just saw those four men, thought they looked vaguely alike and a story emerged from that. Thank you for your kind comment. Glad the family dynamic came across strongly too

      Like

    1. Ah, thank you so much Kelvin for the lovely comment. Always tricky to get across complex relationships in so few words, so I’m glad you felt it worked. I knew what the sibling ‘Pecking order’ was and just needed to get that across. Thanks so much for reading

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Crackling with tension. I love how you’ve found these four men, conjured a lifetime of history for them, and then positioned them at the edge of a terrifying abyss. Masterfully done (as always!).

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you Karen. Not quite sure what it was about these chaps that took me there. They look slightly alike, slightly lost, I suppose. And so the men on my story are. Glad you felt it worked and thanks for reading

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Rochelle. I enjoyed being able to hint at the pecking order of these boys, a dynamic between them that has carried on from childhood into adulthood, as I’m sure many of us find with our siblings! I’m very glad you thought it worked. Thank you

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