Friday Fictioneers : A world too perfect to endure

PHOTO PROMPT © Björn Rudberg


 

‘Where did it happen?’

‘Perhaps it’s best if you don’t hear all the details -‘

‘I need to know.’

‘Further along. Past the sign.’

‘I want to see the exact spot.’

‘I don’t know why -‘

A sigh so deep, it cracked in his throat. ‘There was a point she could have stopped. Saved herself. I have to know why she didn’t.’

The ground was marked with police tape, scuffed by dozens of heavy boots. But there, beyond the yellow line, two small footprints.

Jerry gazed across the wooded valley, smelt the almond blossom on the warm breeze. And he knew.

 


Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the pic and write a tale. See here to join in, read and comment.

 

 

70 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers : A world too perfect to endure

    1. Thanks for the proofing tip – got it. That’s what comes from rewrites and rewrites 🙂 I think Jerry saw something from their shared past, something that tipped an already fragile mind. Thank you for the comments – wasn’t sure about this one.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Most welcome. But, as Larry said, you could have done it purposely but I didn’t feel it was ☺
        Well, un-unsure yourself.

        Like

    1. Some people are not destined ‘to make old bones’ as my mum would say. There’s no saving some of us – no matter how much we’re loved, there will always be something broken inside. Thank you so much for reading

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Great story, Lynn.
    I have to disagree with Neil and Alicia; if it hadn’t been for the scent of almond blossom, she might have turned back.
    Jerry understood the significance of the scent, and I reckon he was the reason the girl jumped.
    You’ve crafted that story so well, Lynn.

    Like

    1. Thank you Penny. I think there is some reminder from their past that pushed her on, yes, you’re right. And perhaps, even if he loved her, he shared some culpability for her actions. Thank you for your thoughtful reading of the story Penny

      Like

    1. Thank you Varad. I think there was a reminder there, something from their past that showed her she was doing the right thing. Some cannot be saved, sadly. Thank you for reading

      Like

    1. Such a strong emotional connection between scent and memory, isn’t there? I think she went up there intending to do it anyway, but perhaps that smell just pushed her to the end. Thank you for reading

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You’ve done so much with a few particular details to evoke sadness: the small footprints, the almond blossom scent. Like others, I felt it was the scent that compelled her. Beautifully done.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.