PHOTO PROMPT © Douglas M. MacIlroy
There’s a light you get at twilight, when the sun is tucked behind silvery clouds. The sky’s still blue, holding onto day, but the earth is draining of colour, already sliding into night.
It was like that twenty years ago. Day Zero we call it now, but really it was just another summer’s day, a day I have no memory of. Until the broadcast.
I remember Ma’s face as the news came buzzing and tinny over the radio. A sandcastle crumbling under waves. The radio has remained dumb since.
If you could see us all now, Ma, you’d weep.
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. Come on over, be inspired here, read and comment. It’s a joy.
Word Shamble 
Lovely writing, Lynn. I liked the way you described the light. You slowed it right down, and then it raced
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Thank you very much Neil. Glad the pace worked for you – always tricky in 100 words. Thank you for reading
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The imagines in the beginning are slow and soft, growing more urgent as the story proceeds. And what a shot at the end. Great story.
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Thanks so much. Really glad you liked it and thank you for reading
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Good use of descriptive language. I wonder what happened.
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Thanks so much. And what happened? Nothing good. Thanks for reading
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Beautiful opening paragraph which sets up the surprises as the story progresses. Brilliantly done, Lynn.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you so much for the lovely comment Susan. Really glad you liked it. Thank for taking the time to read it
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You’ve constructed that story beautifully, Lynn. The images you use to illustrate apocalypse are not those of nuclear fire and plague but your mother’s face, and a crumbling sandcastle. That makes it so real it’s even more heart-breaking. It’s supremely skilful wordcraft.
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Thank you Penny. Your comments are always uplifting, always incisive. So glad you liked the way I approached the story – sometimes, things are best hinted at ,aren’t they? Thank you so much for reading
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Lovely use of the prompt, a harrowing memory from a future yet to befall us.
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Let’s hope not, Iain. Thanks very much
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Oh… love how much the silent radio says… and how much has changed since. Dystopia is always great… PS… Shouldn’t it be “See us now” in the last line, there might be an extra e there.
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Thank you Bjorn, glad you liked it. And thanks for spotting the typo – all fixed now 🙂
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I can think of so many versions of new over the radio that would cause an “if you could see us now” reaction.
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Indeed and none of them good
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Sorceress of words… so beautifully drawn, pulling us in and then pulling us up short!
Wonderful.
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Thank you very much Dale. Your comments are always a pleasure to read. So glad you liked it 🙂
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😊
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Lovely voice in this piece
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Thank you Josh
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Lovely writing
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Thanks very much Tracey 🙂
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The writing is so lovely, and within it you create doomsday. Amazing stuff.
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Thanks so much Sascha – so glad you liked it 🙂
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A doomsday tale but oh so poetic and beautiful.
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Thanks so much
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Topical, I think, in the world we live in right at this moment. Good one Lynn, as ever.
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I’m hoping not prescient, though. Thank you Sandra
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As always, your descriptive writing takes me right into the story. Despair is clear.
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Thank you so much. 🙂
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Dear Lynn,
Dale put it beautifully…sorceress of words. Your descriptions are magical and put me in the midst of the scene. Wonderfully written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you so much Rochelle. I’m glad it worked for you
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Wow. You really are good at leaving me with questions, that I might attempt to answer, that might be correct, but probably wouldn’t. I’d say this is another of your openers to some spine-shivering short story.
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Thanks Crispina. Could be. I’ve written a few shorts recently I’d quite like to expand. If I just had more time. Thank for reading
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Wonder what happened…. Something terrible…. I would love to know what inspired you to come up with such a sad story. Beautiful writing.
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Thank you. Inspiration is a funny thing. I saw the contrast between the blue sky and the dark land, that moment you get when the sun is setting. I began to describe that and perhaps it just led to the sun setting in other ways. Not sure why I though end of the world – the brain is a funny old thing. Thank so much for reading
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A quite exquisite creation, Lynn, even by your exalted standards, vividly yet subtly portraying a post-apocalyptic dystopia.
And too close to current reality for comfort.
Magnifique.
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Thanks so much C. Very kind words – I shall treasure them 🙂
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Beautifully written, not a word wasted. A gently-constructed and affecting scene with a profound sense of loss. Wonderful.
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Thank you so much Jilly for the kind comment. And thank you for reading 🙂
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A unique perspective of an apocalypse. One can sense the loss of innocence, childhood, family, mother and earth in such few words. Well written, Lynn.
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Thank you so much Fatima. What a lovely comment 🙂
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Such beautiful descriptions with such emotion. “A sandcastle crumbling under waves. The radio has remained dumb since.”
Just all so gorgeously written.
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Ah, thank you so much! So glad you thought it worked. Thank you for reading
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The previous commenters have used all the superlatives to describe your writing. I’m in awe of your talent. Outstanding!
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Thank you Russell for the gracious, generous comment. Thank you 🙂
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Wow! Post appoclolypse painted well.
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Thank you Liz. Glad you thought so and thank you for reading 🙂
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I agree with Russell. Superb.
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Thanks very much Emmy 🙂
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Clapping. 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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What a piece! Simply marvellous.
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Thank you so much Norma 🙂
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Lovely contrast between the colors in a summer sky and a tumbling sandcastle. You brought your story full circle – from serene to untold tragedy. Well done!
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Thank you very much Lish 🙂
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Your wonderful description of the sunset lulled us into a serene situation and then bam – you hit us with it in a way that really hit home – using the radio, mother and sandcastle.
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Thank you Irene. Glad it worked for you 🙂
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My first thought when I saw that photo was of that sequence in Terminator 2: Judgment Day in which they show she dreams of the destruction of the world.
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I see what you mean – those clouds
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Great descriptions Lynn as everyone has said before me. Fantastic piece of writing
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Thank you very much Michael. I really appreciate the kind feedback and you taking the time to read this. Thank you 🙂
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You’re welcome
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Lovely description of horror. You’ve managed to bring this on almost poetic.
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Thank you Dawn 🙂
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The beauty that can be found even in despair makes it so much worse. Beautifully written and a punch to the gut in the end.
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Thank you so much Gabi. What a great comment. Thank you for reading 🙂
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I really like the way you lead us from an innocent sounding twilight to unimaginable horrors, so deftly. Great story.
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Thank you so much 🙂
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