‘Can you Hear them?’ Harriet’s face was pale but for twin spots of feverish colour on her cheekbones.
Lawrence nodded, unable to speak.
Hearing. That was what they called it at the facility known as the Farm. Though that was a misleading title as Lawrence’s experiences weren’t just about sound, they deluged every sense. Back when he was less experienced, he’d come close to disaster, the Heard possessing him, blocking out his reality, giving him their own. The Farm had taught him control – of himself, of the Hearing, of the Heard.
This place, though. There was more here than they’d been told in the briefing. Something older, something dark, it flickered on the edge of his vision, casting the blue sky grey, bleaching the grass, turning the sun to the colour of old bone. A thunderhead of pressure built behind his eyes
‘They’re here,’ he whispered.
This piece of fantastical flash fiction was written for What Pegman Saw, the writing prompt inspired by Google Streetview. Today we visit Tulum in Mexico. See here to join in.
That’s a terrific story, Lynn. And what technique! You introduce a new way of perceiving things, an organisation that has started to harness this and a mission whose objectives and risks clearly haven’t been communicated to the operatives – and all this together with the usual stuff about character in 150 words. Kudos!
And it’s a cracking story, too, did I say that?
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Ah thank you Penny! This is what I mean about too many stories – all these intriguing nuggets we all create in our flash writing and how do we write them all up? Impossible! I do like this idea and find myself increasingly creating high concept flashes with big ideas. Thank you so much for the kind and encouraging comment
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WRITE THIS BOOK! Seriously. I know you have no shortage of ideas, but I second everything Penny said. This is compelling stuff–pulls the reader in.
What are you working on these days, anyway? Are you still writing YA? Pitching anything? Have a secret book deal brewing? Need a beta reader in the states? 😉
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Hi Karen. Thank you for your encouraging comment – you’ve bowled me over with your enthusiasm! I like the idea of the Heard but would have no idea where to take it next. Definitely one for the ideas file though and I’ve been thinking over who the Heard are, coming up with some intriguing possibilities.
As for WIPs, I’ve left YA at the moment. I did send out my YA time travel book, but no takers, so it’s on the back burner at the moment. My current book is an urban fantasy with lots of ghosts, demons and a murder to solve. I’m still working through the draft with my alpha reader, but once that’s done I will need beta readers, so if you fancy it … A warning though – some of the British-isms don’t translate well I’ve found, so you may need an American English to UK English dictionary by your side! Thanks again for your enthusiasm and support 🙂
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Those agents/editors don’t know what they’re missing. It will happen for you if you keep at it. An urban fantasy sounds thrilling, I’d be delighted to read.
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Thank you Karen – for the supportive comment and the offer. I hope you won’t regret it because you may well be taken up on that! 🙂
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What fantastic (pun intended) world building, Lynn, I love it! I second Karen: definitely put this one in the Idea File for later.
Wonderful tension here, too; it just builds and builds. That’s it, clearly you have a hit thriller on your horizon. 🙂
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Ah, thank you Joy. I’m drawn to mystery stories and have found myself writing crime/mystery flash quite a lot. My WIP is sort of a ghost story with an unsolved murder – definitely the kind of thing I’m enjoying at the moment. Ideas File it is! Thanks Joy
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Ooh, sounds interesting! I don’t think I could manage a mystery, but then… Hmm…. NO, do NOT give me more ideas, Lynn! 🙂
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Haha!
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Dear Lynn,
Amazing story. Not only are you the maven of description of scenery, you’ve added an internal dimension. Intriguing. I want to know who he’s Hearing. Fabulous writing.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle – what a lovely comment! I have a small idea of who he’s hearing but not quite sure why they want to listen yet. So glad it worked for you and thank you for the encouraging feedback
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I love that pun on Heard and Herd, i.e. as found on a Farm. Please tell me it was intended.
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I confess – I didn’t notice it until after I came up with the name but then it fitted so nicely it made me smile. Now to work out who the Heard are and why the Farm are so interested in them. Thank so much for reading Crispina
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I always enjoy your stories. And, unlike mine, they’re sociably short.
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Thank you Crispina. I have written longer stories on here, including a 30 + Gothic serial. But not sure I’ll be doing that again in a hurry – it’s a tough one for people to follow over a long period. Saying that, if you’re writing’s good – and it is – then people will read to the end, no matter how long it is.
https://lynnmlovewords.wordpress.com/2016/07/25/the-daily-prompt-murder-and-mischief-aunty-gloria-tells-a-story/
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I shall check out that link. As you know, I’ve posted really long stuff, and mostly at least a core of the readers stay with me.
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That’s the first thing, or maybe the third, that I noticed in this fabulous story. The play on heard/herd.
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This left me with a cold feeling ~ in a very good way. So much going on… I felt heat in my cheeks with the first line, a catch in my throat with the second. And then you introduce us to the Farm. Not a place I’d want to visit, but one I want to know much more about.
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Amazing piece. Very well put together.
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Thank you so much
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