PHOTO PROMPT submitted by Courtney Wright. © Photographer prefers to remain anonymous.
There was a dent in the hedgerow, a patch where the hawthorn had died. Enough space for Hetty to sit, knees drawn up against the wind, patched boots out of the wet.
Such a day for wind. Sharp as a knife, cold as the stolen glances she’d had from the Goodwives in the last village – worn to the bone baggages the lot, pinched tight as the buns on their heads. Pity the husbands.
A first snowflake fell. Soon a layer of downy white drifted in the trackways, softening the hard edges of wall and gatepost.
Sleep. Just for a while …
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the pic and write a tale and don’t forget to read and comment on the other stories. See here to find out how.
The tempo of this is perfect, mimicking the approach of slumber. I fear Hetty won’t wake up. But I don’t know – you paint her as a survivor, and in the hedge is warmer than out in the open. Lovely writing, Lynn.
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Thank you so very much, Penny. Yes, a survivor and a feisty one I think – perhaps the wives of the village were right to look askance at her. Glad you felt the tone was right and thank you so much for the helpful comment
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Just beautiful Lynn. So much painted with so few words
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Thank you so much for your kind comment Neil.
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Masterly creation.
And the use of ‘Goodwives’ took me back through the decades…
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Thank you C! For some reason Goodwife stuck with me from reading The Crucible at school. Mind you, the rest of the story stuck pretty hard too. Thank you for the kind comment
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A lot in few words. Exceptional story telling, Lynn. The last line is particularly brilliant.
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Thank you so very much Varad. Your comment was very kind and I’m glad the story worked for you. Thank you
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This was beautiful! I loved the visual in your story! Well done! ❤
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Thank you so much. Really glad you liked it
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Beautifully written.
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Thanks JA
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Dear Lynn,
Something tells me Hetty won’t wake up from her sleep. Beautifully written
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you very much Rochelle
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Such a sad tale, Hetty drifting off for good this time. Poignant stuff Lynn.
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Thank you Iain 🙂
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Beautifully written – so vivid – best story I’ve read on this week’s prompt so far.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you so much Susan. Really glad you liked it
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I feel a chill and I can smell the disapproval.
Great writing
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Thanks so much Tracey
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Well written. With the coming snow I’m afraid it sounds like she might not wake up from this sleep.
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Possibly not, though she is tough! Thanks Trent
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Let’s hope she makes it through the night and sees better days…
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Let’s hope so. Thanks Trent
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The description of those Goodwives is so perfect! “Pinched as tight as the buns on their heads.” I can just see the whole disapproving flock of them.
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Thank you so much. Glad you liked the description 🙂
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I can see her sitting there. And I love that description of the wind, cold as the stares . . . I wonder what happens to her.
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Opinions seem to vary, but most people seem to think she won’t see morning. That would be a shame – I like her, she’s tough. Thanks so much Crispina
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Yea, I did get the impression . . . but then, who knows what surprises an author might pull from her head.
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Nothing wrong with a happy ending – just occasionally 🙂
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Beautifully told, such a sad heart wrenching story.
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Thanks so much
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Everything about this is perfectly told and written. Loved it
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Thank you so much Michael
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‘Goodwives’ says it all.
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Indeed 🙂
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Beautifully told, but I fear this will be her final sleep.
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Thank you Draliman
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It seems most people assume she won’t wake. I say she will! You just see!.
My FriFic tale is called Jim and Jan!
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Well, she’s a tough cookie to have survived this long, so … Thanks Keith
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She sounds a strong character, so hopefully she will move to a safer place. Sadly such places are more and more under pressure.
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Very true, with so much green belt and brownfield sites being snatched up for development, there are few places where people can lie low undisturbed. Thank you for reading Mike
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Very beautiful.
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Thanks so much 🙂
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You are an extremely talented writer, Lynn. She may or may not wake up, but at least she’s at peace for the moment.
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Thanks so much Russell. What a lovely comment. And yes, a few minutes of peace must be a precious commodity for many street people. Thank you
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I tend to agree with KR, A little rest and her invincible spirit shall win. Great write as always.
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Thank you very much Yarnspinner. Very kind
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Welcome.
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Her life was hard, tucked into the bush with her patched boots to escape the elements. A sad tale as I fear she will not wake up. Very well written!
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Thanks very much Brenda. Glad you liked it
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I can feel the eyes of those women weighing her down and hear a sigh as she wonders if she should care or not. Maybe a wee rest among the foliage then up she’ll get and carry on. I’m rooting for her. Gorgeous!
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Thank you Lish. Yes, the joy of a small town, eh? Thanks so much and glad you liked it
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Beautifully written. Love it.
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Thanks so much and thank you for reading
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I love the way this reads.
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Thanks Dawn
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I, too prefer to believe she will wake up after her rest.
As has become expected, beautiful story telling, Madam.
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Thank you Dale. I hope you’re right and she wakes to walk another day. Thank you for your kind comment my dear
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Ah the freedom of the outcast, best of luck Hetty. I enjoyed the atmospheric narration, concise with words but clear on images.
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Thank you so much James. Really glad you liked it
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This is such a sad story, well written. I hope Hetty died peacefully under her blanket of snow.
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Thanks so much Liz. Really glad you liked it
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So much emotion and imagery laid out in so few words! Wow!
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Thanks so much. Glad you liked it
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I do love the language of such hardship… somehow reminded me of the little matchgirl transported into a contemporary settings.
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Thank you so much Bjorn
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You perfectly create a moment in time for Hetty, which alludes to so much about her life experience. Wonderfully crafted and most touching.
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Thanks so much. I’m really glad you like it
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Good story – and sad. I hope she finds peace at last. Excellent thought-provoking story written very well. Great!
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Thank you so much – really glad you liked it
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Lovely descriptions, Lynn. Pity the husbands of those women in their tight buns!
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Thanks so much Jilly. Yes, pity them indeed!
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I so love the description of the goodwives. You really paint pictures with your words. Sorry this is so late.
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Ah, thank you Gabi for the lovely comment. Really, don’t apologise for the lateness – I’m often a week late replying these days. Not sure where the days go! Thank you for reading
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