‘Are we close?’ said Collier, tucking his chin into his furs. His eyes were barely visible, a squint between the brim of his beaver fur hat and his upturned collar.
Dunning nodded. After a moment, Collier shuffled back to the fire. They’d exchanged few words in the six days since heading out from Jackson, though Collier tried to talk over coffee each morning. Dawson had little to say to the lawman. He had little to say to anyone.
Besides, Collier would want to discuss Sol Jäger and the massacre and Dawson didn’t want to know who he was tracking, to make a judgement about the man’s guilt. The money purse in his pack – that was all he needed to know.
Dunning kept his growing unease to himself. Unease about a trail too easy too follow … about following a man whose name meant ‘hunter’.
Written for What Pegman Saw, a prompt that uses Google Street View as its starting point. This week we are in Alberta, Canada. See here to join in.
Your story is excellent, Lynn, really excellent. Great description – I love “His eyes were barely visible, a squint between the brim of his beaver fur hat and his upturned collar.” Great narrative. Great pacing. And a terrific reveal.
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Thank you so much Penny. As I haven’t written many shorts for a while, I’m a little out of practice, a little clunky perhaps. Glad you liked this one though. I liked the squint too! 🙂
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Dear Lynn
I notice you don’t seem to have linked your story to the Pegman site; at all events, it isn’t showing there.
With best wishes
Penny
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Oops! All linked up now 🙂
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Yes, excellent, Lynn!
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Thanks so much Tish
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There, you’ve gone and done it again. Dangled a story, and left me wanting to know more.
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Thank you Crispina. Yes, I wonder if Sol did what he’s accused of – perhaps he’s been set up. I’d rather like to know myself. Thanks for reading 🙂
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I always enjoy your stories. Even if they do tend to raise questions
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Thank you – it means a lot
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I sometimes find it difficult to comment on your stories. I can’t keep going ‘Wow, love it!’ I’m sure my comments must get repetitive.
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I always appreciate positive feedback by people who can write well. Such comments carry me through when I’m staring at the screen, wondering why the hell I’m still plodding away at this! Thank you
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Oh, that is a familiar feeling. You’re plodding away at it because you love to write, and you are committed to it, no matter what the final outcome.
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Very true. I can’t imagine not writing now, even though making decent money from it seems like a dream. I would like to have a novel published and am hopeful for this current WIP, but big commercial success? I’m not expecting to give up the day job! But then, I was editing a section of the novel yesterday and came away feeling so cheerful – that’s what happens when you love the process, isn’t it? And maybe that’s enough.
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If it makes you happy … Gish, I don’t know what I’d do without the writing. At times it has served as the ultimate stress-buster, at times as the ultimate in pleasurable indulgence; when I’m away from it for more than a day I crave it; it’s an essential part of my life; it even helped me recover my mental abilities after a viral infection had left me with brain damage.
I imagine this is how it is for singers, musicians, painters, etceteras etceteras. It’s a thing you have to do. And you have to perfect it. And you have to keep trying. I believe if you ever reach the place where you see your writing (or any other art) as perfected, you lose the drive to keep going. A masterpiece becomes a death knell.
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Ha! Yes, perhaps happy isn’t always how I’d describe my writing experiences. Compulsion? Need? Empty pit inside that needs shovelling full of words and stories? Also enjoyable at time 🙂
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Manic. Addicted. Incomplete. If I’m not able to write (for whatever reason) I become someone other than me.
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I become grumpy if anyone stands between me and my laptop – ‘what you’re off sick today? But, you’ll be at home, in my space, where I work …’ I do not make a good nurse 🙂
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I praise the gods that these days I live ALONE.
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Haha! There’s something to be said for it 🙂
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At times I do miss the company of an ‘other’, but, by the cringe, the effort that takes. I’m through with all that. I like my space!
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It does take some effort some days, you’re right. And if I ever lose my current love for whatever reason (not that I would wish that in any way) I can’t imagine searching for another. I might have felt I needed a man to complete me when I was 20, but I’m rather more comfortable with me now. With age comes self knowledge and confidence.
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Indeed. Plus the knowledge of how taxing an ‘other’ can be. Though for those fortunate enough to have found their Mr/Miss Most Compatible, such tax will be freely given.
Alas, all I ever found was Mt Right: Mr ‘right’ now, but not tomorrow.
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Living with people is not always easy, no matter how much you love them. There’ll always be those occasions when you just want them to bugger off and leave you alone. Though I’m betting my other half and my son sometimes think the same about me 🙂
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Yea, maybe that’s it: I don’t want others to think, ‘Sod off,’ to me. 🙂
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Just so long as they don’t think that all the time, I’m content enough 🙂
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Uh oh – looks like they’re in trouble. Let them eat cake – you have another great story under your belt 🙂
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Thank you Jane. Yes, a lot of trouble on the horizon for someone
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Great tension throughout. I like the style.
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Thank you Josh 🙂
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Nice to read you again, Lynn! Like the imagery and story, and names a lot. Nicely done and happy Tuesday to you.
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Thank you Bill. Yes, been absent a lot for a while. Glad you liked the story and hope all’s well at your end 🙂
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Masterful & tense. Love this story!
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Thank you Karen 🙂
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This was your usually fabulous descriptive story. Loved it.
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Thank you Dale! Very lovely of you to say. Felt a little slow producing this one, but I’m a little out of practice. Hope all’s well with you
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Yes indeed! All’s well and happy to find you back amongst us! We miss you when you’re absent…
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Ah, thank you. Missed being around too, though I think the blogosphere is a tad quieter in the summer – many of us who have the weather for it are off doing other things.
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Yeah… I wish I was away!!
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Where would you go? Somewhere warm and beachy? 🙂
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I can see why he’s on alert. If he doesn’t trust the guy, perhaps best to lead him part ways, leave a map, and scram. Unless a talented hunter would come after him?
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Ah, well, I wondered if the tracker might himself be tracked and that bag of money might look pretty slim compared to the trouble that might bring. Thanks so much for reading Amanda
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Always happy to read your work. 🙂
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Thank you Amanda 🙂
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I liked this one, especially the way you ended it. I love the meaning in names, details linking up like coincidences that aren’t. One thing that made me pause and reread was the slight ambiguity of the ‘he’ in the last paragraph. I think it’s because you mention all the others before Dawson and give Collier the most time up front. I think I’d have mentioned Dawson first since it’s his pov. Just a thought.
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Thanks for the heads up on that POV – too many men in one scene! It’s a good point to bear in mind when I’m writing my WIP too – all the ‘he’s’ can be very confusing. Glad you liked it overall though. How’s your latest novel going? Did you get that first draft done?
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Kill one of them 🙂 Yes, I finished, did a second draft and started a new one.
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Haha! Wow, well done! That’s quite a work rate you’ve kept up there. Hope things are going well with the agent too
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I’ve thrown myself into a new story to stop myself worrying about the series I’ve just finished. Juliet (sounds funny calling her by her first name as if we went to school together) is waiting on replies. If nothing else, they ought to be impressed with the output 🙂
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Well I am glad you stay plodding away!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Well I am glad you stay plodding away!
Felt like Louis lamp Ute but better
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Thank you very much 🙂
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🙏💜
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Sorry for the typo – because your font is white I cannot see it in the textbox.
I meant L’amour
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Yes, sorry for that. Never have worked out how to cure it. Complicated by the fact some people seem to experience it and others don’t! The joys of tech. Thank you for making the effort to leave a comment – much appreciated
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Oh and it was not that difficult and right now In the reader it is like every other blog –
😉
But I think it is easy under customize in the theme –
But really not big deal
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Thanks for that – I’ll try to look into it 🙂
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:0)
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The hunter become the hunted, maybe. The barren style of this fits the terrain. Nice to read you again, Lynn. Hope you and your hubby are keeping well.
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Thank you Kelvin. Yes, sometimes I can manage a plain style, though I do have a tendency to add a chunk of description along the way! We’ve just come back from a holiday in Devon, so it’s nice to sit at the laptop and tap away. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you’re well
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