***
It’s just me and dad now, two left out of the five that once made our family. Susie and Jess left within months of Mum dying.
Susie told me it was Dad’s drinking that finally made her leave, the cycle of alcohol and anger and self-recrimination.
Jess never told me why, only that she was going and that she would never return. I remember her expression as she boarded the ferry for the mainland, that mix of shame and sorrow. And relief.
I’ve never blamed my sisters for leaving but I can’t. Dad and I circle each other like boats caught in a whirlpool, pulled by the same forces, unable to separate. Without me he’d sink and without him I’d have to rejoin the world.
Here we drift, trying to stay afloat, wondering when we’ll grow too tired to paddle, waiting to drown.
***
Written for FFfAW. See the pic, write a tale but don’t forget to read and comment on others. See here to join in.
So dark a title and image and closer, but lovely too.
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Thank you Bill 🙂
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That was really dark Lynn. Well written.
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Thanks so much. Some relationships aren’t healthy and I think this falls into that category! Thanks for reading
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Definitely a co-dependent unhealthy relationship going on here…Your writing pulls us right in.
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I’ve seen so many of these over the years, haven’t you? Often between parent and child when neither can let go. Thank you Dale, glad you felt it worked
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Way too often, I fear.
And most definitely
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Wow, and here we were, just talking about compelling character sketches on another page — you give an excellent example right here! Love the imagery of them rowing against the whirlpool sucking them both down together. I’ll happily return your compliment: when am I going to be able to buy one of your books, so I can read a whole 80,000+ words about one of these fascinating character dynamics you keep giving us hints about?
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Thank you Joy! And if I ever get a book published you’ll be one of the first to hear 🙂
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Whenever my friends ask if I’ve published a book yet, I say, “Oh, if I had published a book, you would KNOW. I would be shouting it from every rooftop!”
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Ha! I’ll look forward to hearing you from this side of the Atlantic! 🙂
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Love the imagery to show their struggle together, neither able to break free. Excellent.
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Thanks Iain
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Though it’s not spooky or shiversome, that story just sent shivers through me. You must have touched something deep. Perhaps a perennial truth. 🙂
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Sometimes a toxic relationship can be the creepiest thing around. They’re hothouses of bad feeling and simmering resentment. Thanks for reading Crispina
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Um, yea. Those are the ones I stay away from. But for some people, that isn’t possible.
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Sad but true. I’ve seen it often in others, though I suspect toxic relationships are easier to identify from the outside.
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I would not like to be stuck in one, that’s for sure.
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You have to be strong willed and confident to break free of such relationships and people aren’t always, are they? Sad and self-destructive, but that’s the way some people live their lives
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I know. I’ve had friends like that. I so want to shake them. But that’s not the way to it. We need to help them build confidence, a sense of security etc, before they can even consider breaking away from it. Not easy. Especially not easy for someone who has never had those issues to understand.
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You’re so right about the confidence issue. Many people trapped in this kind of relationship find it hard to break away because of confidence, low self esteem, years of being told you’re worthless, that you can’t survive alone. If you’re told it often enough, you grow to believe it
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Well, I had a rough ride with my mother. My saving grace, so to speak, was to excel at school despite her low opinion of me. So, if she could be wrong about one thing, it followed she was wrong about everything. So I strutted away from her. But I must admit, things only because ‘easy; between us after I moved away and only communicated twice a year. I used to envy e.g. writers who said what a wonderful relationship they had with their mother. Ho-him, hey. Yet I’ve drawn on that relationship to good effect. And it gave me something to kick against. Oh, and I did kick! 🙂
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I do feel for you. My relationship with my dad was bad – we didn’t speak for 16 years at one point and were never close. But if you can get through these things in one piece, you do feel stronger, you know the kind of person you don’t want to be, you learn from some of their mistakes. I’ve been a different parent because of it, far from perfect of course, but I do try to be more patient, less prone to shouting, have a sense of humour about stuff. My son and I have quite a laugh, which I could never do with my dad. I’m sorry to hear of your relationship with your mum, but you’re a good person despite/because of it and what more can we ask of ourselves?
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As I said, it gave me something to kick against. I really do believe that we only grow through adversary. I’ve had several friends who as children had it, what we would call ‘easy’. And they turned to drugs. One didn’t survive it. If we don’t have that wall to butt against, we create it ourselves.
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I suspect you’re right. I’ve known people who had very quiet, comfortable childhoods and were totally thrown when faced with adversity as adults. These things make or break you
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Indeed. I’ve known those who’ve gone both ways. I count myself fortunate. Every adversity, a new buttress added. 🙂
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Dad has his problems. But someone has to take care of him. If everyone leaves him, what will happen to him?
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Thank you Abhijit and thanks for reading 🙂
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Co-dependency is a difficult cycle to break. You portrayed it well.
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Thanks Jo and I think you’re right – very difficult to break free of such relationships, because no matter how toxic, there are reasons each party relies on the other, even if it’s just fear of being alone. Thanks so much for reading
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