PHOTO PROMPT © Russell Gayer
‘How long has she been missing?’ Papa pulled on his boots, his braces still hanging loose, bouncing at his thighs.
‘An hour ago.’ But I was reading up in the attic before that, hiding from my sister, avoiding the grief that hung about her like a shadow. I stared up the hill, towards the foot of the glacier. ‘She wouldn’t go up there alone.’
The old Nancy wouldn’t, but this hollow girl that had replaced her, who drifted like mist through the house since the accident … Maybe.
‘If I’m not back by nightfall …’ The door slammed behind Papa’s back.
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Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See here to join in, read and comment.
What a happy place to be, back on Friday Fictioneers. And what a cracking, inspiring photo too. Thanks Russell.
Word Shamble 
I loved the hollow girl drifting like mist through the house
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Thank you Neil, glad you liked it
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Intriguing piece!
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Thanks Reena
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Dear Lynn,
So many subtle details like the father’s braces and reference to the accident. One’s left wondering what caused this girl’s hollowness. Wonderfully written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle. I imagined she’d lost someone very dear on that glacier and she just hasn’t been the same girl since. Thank you for reading
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Love this story. It’s crackling with subtext and tension. The I would buy this book in a heartbeat! The title alone is gold.
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Ah, thank you so much Karen. I did think it could expand quite easily, a girl lost on the glacier, perhaps a plain mystery or a ghost story. Creepy places in the dark, glaciers – they make noises! Thank you very much for your kind comment
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Oh, what a scary moment. Great writing.
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Thank you Jelli
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Those little observational touches… love ’em. And great to see you back and so far up the ‘squares’.
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Thank you Sandra. I have a day off today, so caught the FF train reasonably early. Back to late next week, but I’ll try to join in. Love the ideas these prompts spark
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The Hollow Girl is an exquisite title and image, it sums up a damaged person in one phrase. Excellent Lynn. Happy New Year to you, all the best for the year ahead.
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Thank you, Iain. Yes, I liked the title too, makes me imagien some very dark things, which I always enjoy! Happy New Year to you too, Iain. How are the book sales going? Let me know if you’re still up for that interview sometime. You doing a blog tour at any point?
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Thanks Lynn. Sales were good up until Christmas, then unsurprisingly died off a bit over the festive week. An interview would be good to start the New Year. Are you happy to email me details? – iainkellywriting@outlook.com
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Definitely. Give me a few days
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Amazing piece of writing, Lynn, says so much, leaves so much unsaid, gets the balance exactly right.
Love it.
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Gave me a happy little jump inside to read that comment. Thanks so much C
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I have to agree. The hollowed out girl is a fantastic image, beautifully crafted.
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Thanks so much for the kind comment Carol, and for reading
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Interesting stuff, leaves me wondering what the accident was, aside from it being pretty darn awful. enjoyed this one!
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Thank you so much. Glad you liked it
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What a chilling and fitting description, the “hollow girl.” And yes, a hollow girl might do any manner of things that she wouldn’t have in the past. So much sorrow here — and the fear of more, as it sounds like the narrator has already lost someone (her mother, I’d guess) and now perhaps her sister and maybe her father as well. That will be a long wait to see if he comes back.
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Thanks Joy. Yes, a ton of loss here. I liked that idea of the glacier, creeping slowly away, gradually taking things – people, happiness, mental health – from the people who lived near it. Was listening to an audio recording of a glacier too – they are never silent!
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Ooh, I like that imagery, too. Sounds like a great theme for a book…
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I’m going to work it up into a short story, possibly for a competition I have in mind. I do like that idea. Thank you for the endorsement Joy! 🙂
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Cool — looking forward to seeing the result!
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🙂
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Let’s hope things turn out alright for the poor girl. I wonder what took her to the glacier, I hope dad doesn’t get pulled in too. You really know how to build an atmosphere. I felt like I was reading an H.P. Lovecraft story
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Thanks so much Jacob. I really appreciate the comment and the flattering comparison! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment
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What a brilliantly intriguing and tension-filled piece! Have an amazing new year Lynn.
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Thank you so much! Glad you liked it and a happy new year to you too
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Is Nancy no more? That is why the hollow girl can move wherever she wants to. One may have to inform authorities, whether Papa comes back by night or not.
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She’s only hollow in a metaphorical sense, though that’s devastating enough for her. Thanks so much for reading and commenting Abhijit
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I feel the real story is the accident and the sorrow that it lefts… Love how you only hints at that story… wonder if she will be found alive.
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Thank you Bjorn. You’re right, of course, that’s the heart of this story. Fun to come in part way through, though, eh? Thank you for reading and the thoughtful comment
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The descriptions, the feeling of emptiness that poor girl exudes…
Back with a serious bang!
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Ah, thank you Dale. So glad you thought it worked, thanks so much
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It did. Very well.
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🙂
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Tragedy often does seem to engender more tragedy. Hoping Papa finds Nancy before it’s too late.
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Sadly, you’re right I think. Some people have to endure very hard times. Thanks so much for reading, Linda
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So much going on in this story. Since the accident, she became a hollow version of herself. The story is well woven and leaves me wanting more.
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Thanks so much, Brenda. Glad you felt it worked and thank you for reading
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Suspenseful. A really vivid scene/story.
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Thanks so much 🙂
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Wonderful, descriptive writing, Lynn. I love the details and the hollowness shows perfectly how trauma can rip a hole into a person.
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Thank you Gabi. So glad you felt it worked. Thinking of writing this as a longer story, so will see what happens next! Thanks for reading
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Great sense of foreboding in this story. And you sense the bookworm’s guilt at avoiding her, instead of engaging.
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Easy to avoid people when they’re so hard to live with. Harder to give them the support they need sometimes. Thanks for your kind comment
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We get so much from your hundred words – the family dynamics, the hollow girl’s despair, the sister’s guilt. I could go on. A gripping story.
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Thank you so much! A really lovely comment that had me smiling 🙂
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Heartbreaking from title to the slamming of the door.
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Thank you Dawn
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