PHOTO PROMPT © Anshu Bhojnagarwala
‘You must dry off, or you’ll catch your death.’ The homeless guy beckons me to the fire with stubby, soot black fingers.
Crows feet deep as cuts, weathered skin – he could be in his seventies, or ten years younger, hard to tell. The street does that to you.
The drenching has me shivering and the autumn wind cuts across the river, knife sharp. Hypothermia is a real danger.
‘Thank you,’ I say, giving him my best little-girl-lost smile.
He offers me a blanket that stinks of rats and body odour.
I accept it gratefully, hide the knife in its folds.
***
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See here to join in and to read the other stories.
This could be the prequel to An Unforeseen Event, the story I wrote for What Pegman Saw last week.
I fear she’s going to repay his kindness in a savage manner. Or perhaps she sees it as releasing him from a miserable life. Either way, I don’t think I’d take to her. Tantalising, Lynn.
LikeLike
Thank you Sandra. I think she’s a girl on her guard, perhaps too much so. Hopefully the poor fella will emerge unscathed. Thanks for reading
LikeLike
Lovely writing, Lynn. I liked the descriptions of the guy and the weather. And the ending. Was that ending full of menace, or just fear?
LikeLike
I suspect it’s fear. I think she’s a lady who finds it hard to trust … Thanks for reading Neil
LikeLiked by 1 person
Deliciously done, Lynn.
She is nobody’s victim, despite her little-girl-lost look.
LikeLike
That’s very true, she’s not! Thanks so much C
LikeLike
Wonderful picture of the homeless man – I can see that worn-down face and smell his humble abode. On the first read, I thought maybe she meant him harm, but on the second read I’m rethinking that: she really is grateful for the help on this cold and rainy night, and although she’s prepared to defend herself, she’s hiding that, to not spook him.
LikeLike
Thank you, Joy. Glad you thought the description of the homeless man worked, especially as it was pretty brief. I don’t think she means him harm, particular, but she won’t be shy in causing some if she needs to. A tough cookie. Thanks again
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s how I read it, yes. Especially if she’s the same person who’s in the previous story.
LikeLike
Thank you again Joy 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now I do wonder, is that knife in readiness against need of defence? In which case, wise little girl. Or is it readied for a brutal attack? In which case … why? Does she seek revenge for some previous attack on her or her family? Or has she lost her cute little marbles along the way?
See the question your briefly-penned fiction raises! 🙂
LikeLike
I think it’s for defence. Who knows what a strange man has planned for a vulnerable female, no matter how friendly he might seem? And I think she’s been through some crap and that’s made her wary. He needs to step carefully, that’s for sure! Thank so much Crispina
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks? For reading and enjoying? My pleasure.
And yea, I feel for the girl. I prefer that explanation that the one that makes her an evil bitch! 🙂
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a compelling story. I really like the immediacy of their encounter, the ratty stink of the blanket. I could feel the woman’s tension – hypothermia, desperation set against her disgust & fear. Great writing.
LikeLike
Thank you so much. That was a really lovely comment and I’m glad all of that came through in the story
LikeLike
Another finely crafted vignette, the import of which remains deliciously ambiguous and which leaves things balanced on, er, a knife’s edge. (Sorry about that.)
LikeLike
Haha! No apology required. Thank you Chris 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love the description of the homeless man. Also, her strength, she’s a fighter and won’t let her guard down. Well-done!
LikeLike
Thanks very much Brenda. Glad you thought it worked
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like she can look after herself. I took the knife to be a means of defence rather than menace. Excellent as always.
LikeLike
Thank you Iain. Yes, that was how I meant the knife, though I don’t think she’d hesitate if she felt under attack, so the poor guy needs to watch himself! Thank you for the kind comment
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful descriptions again, Lynn. At first read I was puzzled about the knife, but they aren’t really in a trusting situation. The homeless man seems very nice, but you never know what comes next, she’s is wise to be prepared.
LikeLike
I think she’s a prepared kind of girl. Not quite sure what she’s just been through and why she was in the river, though it’s going to have been pretty bad … Thank you for your kind comment Gabi
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Lynn,
As always, your descriptions give your characters a three-dimensional presence. She sounds like a lost girl to avoid. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Yes, I’m not sure the poor man knows what he’s let himself in for … Thank you so much Rochelle
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome, Lynn.
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
Having written a lot about a tramp recently I really liked this, the descriptions are a lot harder than my more superficial, romanticised efforts, showing the true horror of rough sleeping. I hope the knife is only there because she’s not sure of him and feels she may need a little protection, after all the man is giving her all he has to give. Brilliantly done.
LikeLike
Aw, thank you Michael. I’ve got to know a few homeless guys a little over the years, mainly Big Issue sellers, and they all look older than they should. All those rough nights and sleeping badly, and often substance abuse too, are not a mix that promotes youthfulness. I think the knife is there for defence, but she’s a tough cookie … Looking forward to reading your stories
LikeLike
I like to think of her as a vigilant girl. I hope she doesn’t want to harm him, as far he’s good to her.
LikeLike
I think you’re right. Let’s hope he behaves himself. Thanks for reading
LikeLike
You’ve written this with your usual immaculate use of the significant details, and they convey so much. For example “giving him my best little-girl-lost smile” tells us that she manipulated him into giving her the blanket, which says a whole lot about her approach to life on the streets. She’s a gritty, realistic character in a hostile world and you tell it how it is, Lynn!
LikeLike
Thank you Penny! I think you’re right, she’ll manipulate him to get what she needs and then move on. She’s a survivor if nothing else. Thanks so much for reading and for your thoughtful comment
LikeLike
This is really well-crafted. Lots of story & character portraits here.
LikeLike
Thanks so much for the kind comment and thank you for reading.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful details. I could see this all.
LikeLike
Thank you Dawn
LikeLiked by 1 person
Her sense of self-preservation comes through, in a scary existence. I like the description of the homeless man, with wrinkles–– “Crows feet deep as cuts,” is wonderful! I think using knife twice can cause confusion and softens the impact of both. A really excellent piece!
LikeLike
Excellent point about the word knife Dawn – thanks for the feedback. And I’m glad you liked the crow’s feet description. Thanks so much for the kind and useful comments
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have a feeling he is more trustworthy than she.
LikeLike
You may be right there! Thanks so much for reading
LikeLike
I think she is willing to accept help, but not blindly. Only natural that she ensures her own safety.
I really liked this. And prefer the positive thought that a homeless person is more generous than one who lives in comfort…
LikeLike
I think that’s really possible, don’t you? Sadly, we sometimes see in the news here reports of attacks on the homeless – senseless beatings, often committed by drunk young men on those more helpless than themselves. It’s horrifying but unlikely to change as our rough sleeping statistics are on the rise. If you judge a nation by how they treat their most vulnerable citizens, I feel ashamed of ours. Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comment, Dale
LikeLiked by 1 person
I do indeed. And it is awful how homeless are attacked senselessly. We are not much better, I fear, Lynn.
LikeLike
It’s shameful, isn’t it? But they’re so vulnerable.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are. Shameful.
LikeLike
I read this as though she has chosen to live on the streets for whatever reason and is also willing to protect herself if the situation arises. Nice description.
LikeLike
Thank you Sacha! I think you may be right – she’s chosen to live this way and is more than happy to defend herself. I just hope the poor man is safe with her! Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re very welcome, Lynn! 🙂
LikeLike