Why every writer should travel on public transport

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Image: Pixabay

 

Respectable looking elderly lady to her husband.

‘… Shaggy the Sheep. What do they mean Shaggy the Sheep?’

‘Shaggy the Sheep. I never did like that name anyway.’

She pauses. ‘No, no. I mean, if someone called you a sheep shagger …’

 

***

 

‘… You visiting then?’

‘Yes, study.’

‘Oh, you’re studying – at the University?’

He points up the hill. ‘Yes, from Kuwait.’

‘You should go up there to the museum.’

Blank look.

‘Up there – the museum.’ Points to a building that isn’t the museum.

‘I meet my brother.’

‘Right, well, you should take him to the museum – it’s free.’

‘Free?’

‘Yeah, free. And go to Primark. They do the best clothes in Primark.’

 

***

 

‘… Traffic, eh.’

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. What we need, we need to fly, man. Those roads, those bridges – you seen them in America?’

‘The ones on pillars?’

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. They fly over the roads – like PHEWW!’ Demonstrates with his hand.

‘We need those.’

‘Yeah. It’s like Back to the Future, man.’

 

***

 

‘… You know the Cullens then. You know Liam Cullen?’

‘Yeah.’

‘And Nige Cullen.’

‘Yeah. Yeah. All live up Southmead way, dun’t they?’

‘And Jordan and Phil and Trev?’

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah.’

‘Twats, the lot of them.’

*********************************

All genuine conversations overheard on a single bus journey across Bristol – 2/3/16.

And they say the Brits are reserved …