How to stop worrying about not earning a living from your writing

 

 

Image : Pixabay

 

You there!

Yes, you, skulking at the back behind the stack of half-finished novel manuscripts, the mountain of mouldy coffee cups and the dogeared copy of On Writing.

You with the mole-like eyes, squinting into the sunlight as if you’ve been hiding in a cave for the last month.

You with the calloused fingers worn to nubs, the hunch and the haunted look as if you’re hearing the voices of a whole cast of characters other people can’t.

You’re a writer, aren’t you? Thought so.

Let me ask you –

Do you earn thousands of pounds every year from your writing?

Do your books top the New York Times bestsellers list?

Have your stories been adapted for film, turned into multi-million dollar, block-busters, viewed by every nation across the planet?

No?

Then you are part of the 98% of authors who DON’T make a good living from their writing.

Depressed but still want to write?

Be depressed no more, my hunchback, moley, squinty, fingerless chum.

Just pop along to the Mslexia blog, where I will cure you of all your money worries.

100% satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.*

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*Please be aware that satisfaction in this product is in no way guaranteed. No refunds.

And while your there, why not check out Sonya’s post on how to find readers for your blog – maybe with her help, you can make your first million.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How to murder Prevarication and Distraction

Image: Pixabay

 

You have a few hours free.

You’ve sent the kids off to play by the railway line (cos you know, they love Thomas the Tank Engine and there are so many nettles and hogweed, urban foxes and rats down there, it’s virtually a nature walk).

Your other half has gone to the football / aqua-zumba / sealion taming lessons you bought them last Christmas.

The house is silent except for the scritch of woodlice at the skirting board.

You open your laptop or take out your Transylvanian vellum notebook and ivory and tiger skin Montblanc pen.

You breathe deep, slow, open your mind to the ideas sloshing around it …

You catch sight of that unruly pile of Amateur Shed-Builder Monthly magazine. The untidiness distracts you, so you straighten up the stack and retake your place.

You breathe again …

Actually, now you think about it, you’re pretty thirsty – better put the kettle on. And there’s a piece of that Venezuelan Mud Pie left your mum made that would go down very well. And you’d better just check Ebay, because you put a bid in for the entire DVD collection of Chastity and Me staring Bill Clinton and your Aunty Paula would really love that for her birthday …

Six hours later and all you’ve managed to write is the word fish fifty times.

If only you weren’t so easily distracted …

Well, if you pop along to the Mslexia blog, I might just have a few suggestions for you …

 

 

 

 

How to massacre your Fear of Failure

Image: Pixabay

 

Another day, another Monster post.

Don’t fret, though. We’ve left Krampus, that stalker of naughty children behind, thank goodness. That guy’s creepy. I’m surprised German kids sleep at all as December looms – though I guess having a demon who drags young people to Hell for misbehaving saves on the paperwork produced issuing  ASBOs*.

No, Krampus is long gone, but the

Many-Headed-Hydra-of -Writing-Obstacles has raised another noggin.

Last time, we dealt with Lack-of-Self-Belief (or Lacky to his closest enemies).

Now, up on the Mslexia blog, I’ll show you how to conquer his sibling,

Fear-of-Failure.

Sharpen your finest weapon, pack your biggest shield and don your thickest mail undies because this one’s a nasty piece of work and it’ll take all your fighting skills to cut him down.

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*For those of you not living in the UK, an ASBO is an Anti-Social Behavour Order – a form of legal restriction issued by police to people deemed to continually behave in an anti-social manner. You know the kind of thing – being verbally or physically abusive, spraying grafitti, wearing a tasteless leisure suit in a built-up area …

How to murder lack of self-belief

Image: Pixabay

 

Do you have a burning desire to write but think being published is something other people do? 

I felt like that for years.

People who eat chips and sausage from their laps in front of the TV don’t become writers do they?

People who wear tie-dyed leggings, glug too much vodka and orange on a night out and live in grotty one room flats with mushrooms growing out of the window frames because they can’t afford to live anywhere dry with only a minimum wage coming in – those people don’t become writers, do they?

People who didn’t revise for their exams, who had to quit college before they were thrown out … These people don’t get publishing contracts.

That’s what I thought, for decades. And though I still only have a few publishing credits to my name, something has changed.

Alright, one thing that’s changed is I now have enough writing practice under my ever-expanding belt to be able to string a reasonably coherent sentence together – just .

The other change?

I BECAME A KILLER

My third blog post for Mslexia – How to Murder Lack of Self Belief – is up and live on the site now.

Pop along to see how I did the deed.

 

 

How authors can overcome their lack of time to write

Image: Pixabay

Greetings from ‘sporadically sunny, but when it comes down to it, pretty rainy and miserable, let’s stay in and have another cup of hot chocolate’ Bristol.

Whilst not exactly bathing in the glorious output of the sun and feeling the Vit D leech from my body with every second that passes, there is something that warms my very soul today.

No, it’s not the hot chocolate.

Nor is it the prospect of eating the dosa (and possibly imbibing in a sneaky ‘my son’s at school so why not’ cocktail) that’s waiting for me for lunch with a friend.

Neither is it chatting to you lovely people in the little ray of sunshine that is right here, right now, this blog – though it warms my insides almost as much as the dosa and Mumbai Mule coctail will, I assure you.

No.

It’s the news that the second in my series of posts for Myslexia was published mere minutes ago.

As well as my usual nonsense rambling about dragons and tea, there are a few useful tips about conquering every wanna be author’s foe – Time Constraints.

Do pop along. A warm welcome extends to all.