
The door squeaked open. Kurt stepped out onto the tenement roof and propped the door open with an old metal chair he’d saved from a skip. He felt in the brick planter – no plants, just bricks – and fished out his tobacco wallet.
The cigarette paper slipped easily through his practiced fingers, flakes of tobacco tamed into a tube. The lighter flared, clicked shut.
The lead roof was still hot, petrol fumes dissipating a little as day gave way to night.
Laney’s voice reached him up the stairwell. ‘Kurt! Dinner.’
Downstairs the baby was giggling, hiccuping, giggling.
Not a bad life.
***
Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers. See the picture and write along. See here to join in the fun.
A delightful picture of a simple delight
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Thank you very much Neil
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Shame about the fumes… Great place for a smoko though.
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Haha! Yes, though he probably didn’t even smell them, he’s so used to them! Thanks for reading, Tannille
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He took all the trouble so that his baby doesn’t get to do passive smoking.
That’s a considerate father.
Wish he uses this lockdown opportunity to kick the cigarette smoking habit.
Stay safe.
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Lovely, understated little snapshot that made me smile, Lynn.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you very much, Susan.
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Beautiful depiction of a moment in a life.
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Thanks very much C. Glad you thought so
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Dear Lynn,
As always you’ve painted a picture of a day in the life with a colorful, yet light brush. Understated and descriptive. Applause!
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Seems like a picture of contentment 🙂
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We grab our little moments of joy where we can, don’t we? Thank you Crispina
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My moments of contment at the moment is reading Wired for Story by Lisa Cron.
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It’s a fascinating idea for a writing guide. Do you think it has some m merit? Be nice to engage people through story, get them hooked
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It’s an excellent book. It builds upon the results of neurologists to determine what hooks a reader, and keeps them hooked. It’s not just a craft book, it goes way beyond that. But then, I’m fascinated by the human brain, and our propensity as storytellers
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Sounds really interesting. Do you think it will inform your writing?
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A breath of fresh air – even with the cigarette and the petrol fumes! 🙂
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Haha! Hell of a view though. Thanks Iain
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It was the details, right down to the tobacco flakes, that really set the mood of this story.
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Thank you so much. Really glad you felt so
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Reblogged this on wordrefiner.
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Thanks so much for sharing Mark
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Nice scene. At first I thought it might be a snippet of noir. I bet the baby is a girl, lol
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Haha! If our next door neighbor’s kids are anything to go by – it’s a girl ☺️. Thanks for reading
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Laney knows. Sneaky smokers think they’re clever, but that smell clings to them.
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Haha! You’re right there. Thanks for reading
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Great description of an idyllic setting. The man is one of those unsung heroes of great character. You make me a believer.
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Thank you so much for the lovely comment and thank you for reading
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You are very welcome.
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Just a few minutes of peace and quiet doesn’t harm anyone.
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And don’t we all need it sometimes? Thanks for reading
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It is the small pleasure, the moments of peace, the carved out breaths … lovely!
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Thanks so much Na’ama
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Wonderful, Lynn. A slice of not so bad life, all in all.
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It’s the little things we have to value. Thank you Dale
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I so agree.
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A beautifully crafted vignette. There are some moments in life as sweet as that.
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Thank you, Sandra. You have to take the odd moment it and just enjoy what’s around you, don’t you? Thanks for reading
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Wonderful sense of contentment put across here, Lynn. Someone finding pleasure in the small things…
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Linda is right – it’s the details that make this such an excellent piece of work. My favourite line was “and propped the door open with an old metal chair he’d saved from a skip.” Not just any chair – it was old, it was metal, it was salvaged and it came from a skip. That tells us so much about the man. Kudos!
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Thank you so much Penny. I value your keen eye, that close inspection of detail. You’re right, that chair described part of his character and his life – he’s either not too well off or loves to reuse things! Thank you so much, as always
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Hiya, Lynn! Neat story with a nice touch to it. Five out of five cigarette wallets. 🙂
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Thanks very much! Really nice if you to say so
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A moment of peace. Very nicely constructed, I could see both of them in my mind.
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Thank you so much, Eugenia. Very kind of you
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What a wonderful place to be… such a good reason to be where he is
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Thanks so much Bjorn. Heaven’s where to make it, it think. Thanks for reading ☺️
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I could clearly see Kurt on the roof, hand rolling his cigarette. Think you evoke that special evening time of day, love the sound of the baby giggling and hiccupping. Lovely story/
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Thanks Francine. Really glad you thought it worked so well. Thanks for reading
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You create a great picture here with brilliant description of every day acts like rolling a cigarette. You can sense how happy they are as a family together. NIcely done
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Thank you so much Michael. Really glad you liked it
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